Not your perfect teen story

Not your perfect chapter

That morning, when I woke up, Tyra wasn't next to me in bed. She had probably gone downstairs for breakfast. I didn't know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing.

I wanted my best friend next to me so I could talk to her and cry about my miserable life. I didn't think being alone with my thoughts was such a great idea. But at the same time I did want to be alone and just think. I needed to prepare myself for when Adam told me that he was moving.

But I decided that thinking on an empty stomach might lead to disaster. I could never think straight with my stomach growling.

I went down and saw Tyra talking to my mom.

Oh great! The one day I didn't want my mom around.

"Hey, sunshine. You're looking beautiful this morning!" Tyra said.

"Stop. Your sarcasm is not required today." I said. "I'm gonna go upstairs and get ready. When I come back we'll go to Starbucks...okay? Don't make me wait for you."

"Okay." Tyra said.

"Hey! I made pancakes today. You have to eat and go." Mom said.

"Just pack it for me please? I'm really not in the mood for food now." I totally was. But I needed to get away from mom.

"What happened?" Mom said worried.

"Nothing. I need to go get ready now. Just pack it for me. And Ty, get ready."

"Yeah...okay..." Tyra said.

-X-X-X-

"What happened there?" Tyra said as soon as we left home.

"Just read this." I said handing over my phone with the message on it.

"OMG! HE'S LEAVING?" Tyra screamed as soon as she finished reading. "I'm so sorry, Ash. I know how much he meant to you. But are you guys still gonna date? I mean IF he leaves."

"I don't know anything right now." I said.

"Is gonna be there till prom?" Tyra asks.

"I don't know anything about anything right now, Ty." I say, almost coming to tears.

"Okay." She stops with her questions. Finally. "Wait. Is he coming to school today?"

"Uhh...I don't know...maybe. Yeah. YEAH! He is!" I almost shout in excitement. I remember him sending me a message later that night.

I know you're probably upset but I'm coming to school tomorrow. We can talk then.

"Okay." Tyra says. "Don't be sad. Even if he goes, you guys still have a couple more days left to spend together. And long distance doesn't always end in failure."

"Thanks, Ty. But its kinda easier said than done. I never pictured him going away and having to stay without him. I just always thought he'd be there, but now he won't." I say.

"But he'll be there today. And tomorrow. And the day after that and the day after that. Not so sure about the day after that though." Tyra says.

"Ty, are you trying to make me laugh or cry?" I ask, I ask her jokingly.

"Which ever it is, I think I'm succeeding." Tyra says.

When we reach school, Tyra leaves to go talk to Dylan.

With all the drama in my life, I kinda forget about Tyra's. Are she and Dylan a thing? Are they going out? Why don't I know at least this much about them?

I open up my locker and see the picture of me, Adam, Tyra and Jacob from the day we went to the movies and right below that is the picture of me, Tyra and Jacob from 4th grade.

Iv'e been friends with these guys for so long. How could I ever forget how much fun we used to have and how much they have helped me to become what I am now.

I can't believe I ever thought that I couldn't trust Tyra and Jacob to be there for me. They always have been.

My thoughts get interrupted when I hear the bell.

Why isn't Adam here yet? Isn't he coming to school today?

"Here I am!" I hear a familiar voice.

He walks towards me and I quickly embrace him. I look down and see that his cast has been taken off.

"Don't worry. My leg is fine. I told you it was nothing to worry about." Adam says.

"I'm just happy your'e here now!" I say.

"And I'm happy I'm here." He says. "But..."

"But you might not be for long?" I ask. Hoping that that's not what he was going to say.

"Ash, listen. I love you. Nothing will change that." He says.

"So...does this mean...you're..." I don't want to finish the sentence.

"Leaving? Yes." Adam says looking down at his shoes.

I hug him tighter.

"So...what about...us?" I ask. I'm trying to hold back my tears. I don't want to cry in front of him.

"I don't know." He says. "What do you think we should do?"

"I want to be with you." I say.

"But that isn't possible anymore." He says, stating the obvious.

"No. But I still want to be yours." I say.

"But long distance relationships hardly ever workout." He says. Is he trying to get me to cry? "I think we're better off as friends."

He pulls away from my embrace and walks away.

I'm left in the empty hallway. I want to break down and cry but I'm not quite sure what just happened. My brain can't process what I just heard and saw. I'm not even sure whether I'm angry or sad.

I run to the washroom, lock myself up in a stall and cry. I'm tired of holding back my tears all day. I'm not strong. Who am I even kidding?

I'm sick and tired of pretending to be happy. I'm not. I was but now I'm not.

Adam was way out of my league anyways. I should have guessed that I was never meant to have a happy ending. Everyone always leaves me. I should have known. Now I have no one to blame for my misery. Just me.

Adam never loved me. If he did, he would have tried to make things work. But he left. Pulled away from me and left me all alone. I thought he loved me more than I did. I couldn't have been more wrong.

I wanted to keep myself locked up. I liked feeling my tears on my cheeks. I was finally being the emotional wreck that I was. No masks. And to think that a guy could do this much harm.

I got out of the stall. I saw myself in the mirror. I looked horrible. Mascara running down my face, eyeliner smudged, foundation messed up. So this is what I'd been hiding behind my happy face? Damn! I am an ugly crier.

I quickly fix my makeup. I need to attend next class or I'll be in trouble. Also Tyra must be worried about me. I had first period with her.

"Where were you?" Tyra asks. "Are you alright? I was worried sick."

"I'm fine. I promise." I lie.

"You're lying, Ashley. I can always tell." Tyra says.

"Okay! Adam broke up with me." I say.

"What? How dare he? But why?" She says.

"Ty, it doesn't matter. I don't want to talk about it." I say.

"So wait. That's it? That's the end of your story with him?" Tyra asks.

"What story? We never had a story. He was just a chapter. And that chapter is over." I say.

-x-x-x-
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