The ink finally dried as her eyes started to water. "This is for the best." She nodded along. Her kids, gone. Her worries, just beginning.
Her plane was leaving in 30 minutes. All she wanted to do was explain. Why she was doing this. Why she couldn't keep doing this. But her kids, too young to know. Her time, running out.
"Please understand," She reached for her ex-husband's arm, hoping for sympathy. He turned to her, and his eyes said it all. Her hand returned to her side, swaying with her walk.
The court room was filled with other issues just like hers. Divorce, custody, money. Everything that was going bad with her life, was going bad in other people's lives too.
She finally walked down the courthouse steps, and her chest became heavier. Her kids, Kassidy and Jacob, were never going to know that she existed. They were never going to know that this happened.
Her hand raised up for a taxi, while she watched as Adam walked away. Going back to the kids, looking into their beautiful blue eyes, and never telling them anything.
He got to watch them grow up, and be there for them everyday. Helping with every issue. While she was 700 miles away, never knowing anything.
Not knowing how their day was. Never being there when they got their heart broken. Never giving them advice. Never knowing when it was ok to tell them the truth.
The taxi finally stopped, and her sadness got in with her.It followed with her shadow. Looking out the window, she waved her whole life, her whole world, her loves, goodbye.
Her whole body, numb. Her mind, trapped in a loop of watching her fingers picking up the pen. As her brain and the lady said at the same time, "This is for the best."
And her hand in a swift motion, signing everything away. Leaving her kids behind, that wasn't for the best. But she couldn't support herself. How would she be able to support them?
The taxi finally stopped, and she pulled out a $20 for the man. He didn't care for her pain. He didn't seemed fazed by the tears rolling down her face
. He didn't care. Nobody seemed to anymore. This world was a cruel place, and it was only going to get worse. The bloodshed, the violence, the death. Everything was turning upside down.
Going through security took forever, especially since 9/11 happened a few years before.
But she didn't mind. The longer it took here, the more time she had to pull herself together before she went home.
But she knew, she was never going to be able to put herself back into place. After this, she was never going to be able to put her life back together. This was her life, without the kids.
Her kids. Her beautiful babies. Never going to understand the pain. The sadness. The decision she made, was hard. But, "This is for the best."
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This is a personal story about my mother and how she signed over her rights of me and my brother. We keep in contact with her everyday and she comes down every summer she can.
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Hope you guys enjoyed!!
song - die trying (MICHL)
Kass<3
