i don't really know what to call it.
that sinking pit in your stomach, that never seems to end.
the fake smile on your face as you're in front of the ones you love.
always telling jokes, as a way out of the seriousness of it all.
it's just too much to bare.
the sadness.
the loneliness.
the endless stream of tears at night as you pray to god that it would all end.
it's not fair really.
how this topic is just brushed over in society because it "doesn't exist"
but let me tell you something,
you wouldn't know until your life has fallen apart in so many pieces, you don't have enough room in your arms to carry them all
until you sit in bed all day, not hungry, not thirsty, not even fully there. just sleeping away the pain because that's the only time it never hurts
until your heart doesn't skip a beat anymore, because it's been yanked out so may times
until the butterflies in your stomach have flown away, because you found out true love is nothing but a fairy tale
until your so focused on trying to keep your head up & succeed, that everyone else is already 10 steps ahead
until you sit in your dark room at night not sleeping, because the thought of telling the people who gave you your life that you don't want it anymore makes you ache
it aches so deep inside that when you scream out, your throat holds it back in so all you have is the silence & gasps for air.
so please tell me, is it real enough now?
..
if ANYONE is showing signs, please help them out.
just the other day a boy killed himself in my hometown & he suffered so much.
love always, kass.
song when the party's over billie eilish
