Author's Note: Hello, friends! I apologize for how long it took to get this chapter out; but-I have good news! Starting tonight, I will be taking a beginning writer's course at the local community college! Through all the hate from Evolutionists, Feminists, and Romanists, there has been some legitimate criticism of my writing skills. My mother did her best; and she certainly did teach me a lot;
Wait, your mother is James Dashner? (Yes, I'm not going to let this one go.) *Ding!*
After that was lunch in the Great Hall. After lunch were more classes about American History; and Constitutional Law; and Missionary Training. After these classes was dinner in the Great Hall; after which the students had free time.
I'd make the obvious jab at how these are not useful skills to have in everyday life, but I've just remembered that the wizarding version of Hogwarts doesn't teach those skills either. And then again, most of the skills taught in muggle schools aren't that useful either. Seriously when was the last time you ever factorized a quadratic? *Ding!*
Oh, whoops. That wasn't a sin by I awarded one anyway. It seems some part of me just can't help but write ding at the end of every line. *Ding!*
"This food certainly is delicious!" Harry observed gratefully; and he was savoring a bite of perfectly roasted chicken.
"It really is," Dean Thomas concurred intelligently. He was dressed quite respectably today; and he was wearing a button-up shirt and clean blue jeans; and his hair was neatly combed.
Has this author ever actually used 'said' to describe a character's speech. There's no shame at all in using that word. Come to think about it, that's actually one of the things that school teaches us not to do, which makes a lot of people worse at writing. And doesn't that just prove my point about school not being useful to everyday life. *Ding!*
Ronald grinned widely but remained silent as he shoved another handful of deep fried brussel sprouts into his little mouth. Ronald ate breakfast and lunch with his family; but he was eating more and more dinners with these Gryffindor friends of his. It never ceased to amaze him just how nice they were to him, even though he wore a different hat. A little unconditional friendship can really go a long way in a person's heart!
This is the closest this fic has gotten to a fully formed character arc (Ron being redeemed into joining Gryffindor) and I'm willing to forgive a sin for that alone. *!gniᗡ*
It was then that a bunch of beautiful people with wings wearing glowing white robes swooped in through the Great Hall's huge windows. Yellow halos hovered over their heads; and they wore brown leather satchels around their shoulders. They gracefully reached into their satchels and gloriously flung envelopes down to the students below.
It might be just me, but I think the idea of angels taking the role of owls is kinda cute. Oh crap, why am I so forgiving of this author's sins? *!gniᗡ*
"Would you look at that," Dean Thomas uttered fluently. "You got a letter, Harry."
It's not just that this author abuses adverbs and speech tags, but that she finds a different adverb and a different speech tag to abuse every time. *Ding!*
With excited hands, Harry broke the seal and took out the parchment that was inside the envelope. He laid it out on the table and saw the familiar slanting tidy handwriting.
Lies and propaganda! Hagrid does not have tidy handwriting! *Ding!*
"What does it say, Harry?" Hermione questioned shyly; and she played with one of her smooth, lovely curls.
"Hagrid wants me to come over for tea," Harry reported excitedly. "Would you all like to join me?"
"I'd love to," Hermione replied sweetly.
"That sounds like fun," Dean Thomas responded eloquently.
That's four instances of adverb abuse in as many lines. It's time to get serious about awarding sins for this.
*Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!*
And even that is not enough.
When dinner finished, Harry got to his feet; and then he declared boldly, "Let's go!"
Help put an stop to adverb abuse. You can help care for an abused adverb today by calling 1800-555-1201. Thank you for your support. *Ding!*
Author's Note: Blessings!
Other than the slow molestation of the English language, pretty much nothing happened in this chapter. *Ding!*
Story Sin Counter:
1201
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Everything Wrong With: Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles
RandomI've had several requests to sin this monstrosity of a book. Considered by many to be the polar opposite of legendary trollfic My Immortal, only this one is (supposedly) written by a Christian mother in an attempt to sanitize the Potterverse for her...
