Everything Wrong With: Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles

Chapter 2: New Horizons

"Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles?" Harry queried; and clasped his hands. Just at hearing that name, he felt such a sense of inner peace. He wanted to have more of that peace; and he wanted to learn how to be a good Christian-he was starting to think that peace and being a good Christian were in fact the exact same thing! "I want to go there!"

'Sense of inner peace'? Oh come on. He was raised by atheists who apparently didn't even teach him what Christianity was. Why does he suddenly have positive associations with prayers and miracles? *Ding!*

Also, any child in reality would be super-nervous about moving schools. Harry in the canon books had a reason for wanting to leave the Dursleys, because they abused him for years. This fic has given us none of that. We're expected to believe that Harry wants to change schools even though he knows like, two things about Christianity. And his life with the Dursleys doesn't even seem that bad. *Ding!*

I never even made this criticism of My Immortal, because as bad as the characters were in that, they at least had a motive for wanting to do things. This is surely worth an extra sin. *Ding!*

Hagrid beamed widely. He had been praying so hard to save a soul today; and he was so happy to have saved the soul of such a sweet, earnest little one. The poor boy, being raised by two parents who were not Christian; and who both went to work and left him with a babysitter all day long. (Wow God forbid atheists try and make a living, right?)

I guess that the author is trying to imply here that Harry is happy about going to Hogwarts and leaving the Dursleys because they are atheists and atheism=bad. HERE'S THE THING THOUGH: the kid of two atheists wouldn't actually think that atheism was bad, because it would have been the only interpretation of religion they've ever known. *Ding!*

Children that age may have HEARD OF other people's religions, but they're not going to want to change religion themselves unless they have a very good reason to want to do so. The same would be true for any kid, whether they were raised by Christians, Sikhs or Hindus. And I'm sorry but, following some old guy in a cowboy hat because he was literally the first person to tell you that a religion existed is NOT A GOOD ENOUGH REASON TO WANT TO JOIN IT. *Ding!*

It was a good thing Hagrid had got here in time. Five years down the road, Harry might have been a fornicating, drug-addicted Evolutionist!

Come to think of it, did Hagrid actually get the Dursleys' permission before he took little Harry away? Because I think this is a case if kidnapping. Sin for Hagrid. I think I preferred it when he was a satanist. *Ding!*

Also, I'm giving another sin for the Atheist!Dursleys if they don't at least try and get him back from this, which I'm guessing they probably won't. *Ding!*

"Don't be silly, Harry," Aunt Petunia commanded; and wrung her long, bony hands. "Come back inside; I will read to you about Evolution from the Dawkins. You do not need that silly religion."

Oh, they're still at the Dursleys' house? How unobservant of me. I just presumed from the terrible pacing of this story that Hagrid had already taken Harry to the train station. *Ding!*

They'll still allow him to be kidnapped by the Christian though. Mark my words. *Ding!*