Roses And Thorns

50

-Overthinking.

I find myself thinking about you at the most unexpected times.

I wonder if the way things ended between us still lingers in your mind.

Do I cross your thoughts when you're alone in your room?

Do you feel anything looking back at what was lost, when you're surrounded by your friends, and your best friend is missing?

Do you miss my laughter, my presence, my essence?

Or is it just me?

When I saw that picture of you with your friends, laughing, I wondered if we were still friends, would I be smiling like that—happy to be in your presence, enjoying my time with you.

You used to be my favorite person.

But then I remembered the bullying that made me insecure over time, and I can't say I could handle your unpredictability or trust you anymore.

Our friendship was never balanced from the start. That's the plain truth.

For a while, I found solace in the hurt you caused me. I felt happy, sad, and angry all at once, and that was better than feeling nothing at all.

Now that you're gone, I'm back to being numb, and every day feels the same.

I wonder how your days are—if my absence makes any difference to them at all.