Remus Lupin and the Prisoner of Azkaban (#Wolfstar)

Chapter Twenty Nine- The Reconciliation

Words: 1220

Remus jumped up, spikes of energy nudging him. "You've lost your mind!" he spat. "You've got to be kidding me, why are you defending him?! I can't believe this!"

Sirius slowly rose as well. He had no idea where all of this came from, he didn't know Remus like this at all. "Calm down, please."

"You know what, fuck it. I'm leaving," Remus announced and turned around. Anger was clouding his rationality. He walked towards the other edge of the cliff to disapparate, taking his wand out of his belt at the same time. He'd had enough of this, he was better off alone. 

"Expelliarmus!" yelled Sirius hastily, his heart racing with panic. Then he stood there, two wands in his hand, watching as Remus turned around, gritting his teeth.

"Did you actually just do that?" Remus asked coldly.

"You are not leaving, I just got you back. Why are you so angry?"

"I'm very curious as to how you would try to stop me, Black. Give me my wand."

"No."

"You have three seconds."

"You are not intimidating, love, I currently have two wands and you have none." Sirius smiled lightly, but it didn't reach his worried eyes.

There was a silence as the two eyed each other up. Remus didn't know why he was so angry, he just was. This was pent up aggression from thirteen years of bottling it up. About Sirius, about Dumbledore, about everything.

"Listen, I get what you're saying about Dumbledore. He made mistakes, surely. But so did you, and so did I. Many of them. We're all just human, we can't always be perfect and do the right thing all the time," said Sirius carefully, scared of setting him off.

"Very interesting. If so, then tell me, what did I do wrong? What are my mistakes? What did I do to deserve being left alone for twelve years? I'd like to know," Remus said, his cold, dark undertone indicating more than his words. Was it not Sirius' fault he had been in that situation? What did he ever have to do with it?

"I never said you deserved it, of course you didn't, but you can shove your accusations elsewhere, man. I know that I was the one who suggested Peter as secret keeper, thinking that it was the perfect bluff. That I was the one who didn't tell Dumbledore. That I was the one who left that night without telling you. That I was the one who blindly went after Peter after realizing what he had done. That I was the one who got himself locked up. That I was the one who left you alone, I fucking know, I've known nothing else for twelve years in my cell, thank you very much."

"At least you didn't sit at home, waiting for the man you loved to come home, worrying where he might be. At least you didn't receive a message through a patronus from the Order, saying your best friends died through the hand of your partner, who was, by the way, a spy for Voldemort for god-knows how long! You didn't doubt if the man you loved ever cared about you at all..." Remus retorted angrily, trying to stare Sirius down.

"As if I chose to abandon you and get my best friend killed! AS IF I CHOSE TO KILL JAMES AND LILY. AS IF I CHOSE TO BE INCARCERATED IN THAT DAMN CELL FOR A DECADE!"

"I LOVED YOU, SIRIUS! AND YOU LEFT!"

"I DIDNT CHOOSE TO!"

"I DONT CARE!"

But Sirius seemed to have enough of these allegations. He walked towards Remus, who backed down until his back hit the cave wall. Suddenly, he was scared rather than angry. This was a madman who had sat in Azkaban for twelve years, currently had two wands and looked majorly angry. His dark eyes had even darker shadows underneath them, protruding from his ashen face, framed by his much too long, broken and unwashed black hair. He looked truly terrifying. He was not the man Remus once loved.

"Sirius--" Remus began, but he didn't even know what he was going to say. Sirius towered in front of, close to him-- very close to him.

"I didn't choose to leave you. I loved you, I really did and I never stopped, you kept me sane in Azkaban. It was not a happy thought-- I was certain you hated me. But I had to explain it to you, no matter your reaction. It was a guilt, something I owed you. The dementors couldn't reach it, never," Sirius said quietly, his voice was not strong anymore, not at all. They looked at each other.

"Sirius, I--" but he never got to voice his opinion, because Sirius pushed him against the wall and kissed him. Remus froze, utterly perplexed.

His anger, his frustration, his fear-- everything melted away. It felt familiar, it felt real. Like he never left. And for that moment, he didn't know what to do with himself but to let it happen. It only lasted a heartbeat, but it left him absolutely breathless. His pulse was racing and he felt weirdly content. He hadn't noticed that his hand had made its way to Sirius' chest.

When he opened his eyes, Sirius was staring right back at him, inches from his face.

"You need a shower, man," Remus joked, touching Sirius' greasy black hair.

"Wow, sorry, I was kind of occupied, you know. Being on the run from... everyone," he laughed, and they grinned at each other, like they had no care in the world.

"I'm sorry I lost my temper," Remus said after a while.

"It's okay, you had every right to. You didn't have it easy these past years," Sirius said, his tone understanding and kind.

"No, I mean it, I really am truly sorry. We're both on edge about what happened with Peter, and neither of us had it easy-- ever, basically. I can't even begin to imagine what Azkaban must be like for so long, no one could fathom what you had to endure in that place, you must have suffered so greatly, I'm so sorry," said Remus with downcast eyes. He was ashamed of the things he had said before and wished to take them back.

"It's over, and that's all that matters, don't you think?" Sirius smiled, a small but honest gesture. Remus' heart fluttered, and before he could realize what was happening, their lips collided again. They were lost in each others presence, lost in how much they had missed each other. But at the same time, they were found. They found their old selves in each other, they found their old lives. And they were willing to try again.

"Will you stay with me?" asked Sirius quietly.

"It would be my pleasure," Remus smiled. A grin broke out on the other's face.

They let go of each other and turned to the dying sun. Neither of them could believe their luck.

"So, where do you fancy?" asked Remus with a youthful grin, turning his head to look at Sirius.

"How do you feel about East Sussex?" Sirius replied, now looking back at him.

Remus laughed and held out his hand, ready to apparate.

"Sounds perfect to me."

(TWO CHAPTERS LEFT YEE)