Beautiful Bastard [H.S]

43•Want What You Can't Have

Harry's pov

"Don't waste your love on someone who doesn't value it" I read out loud man I wish I could tack that to Henry's forehead as much as he claims to love Alexis

This is my 3rd time re-reading Romeo and Juliet I figured the more I could read this the more I could understand and not to mention how I'm picking up on romantic gestures and sayings which I know Alexis likes

I moved to the next page but paused my book mark is my baby ,the ultrasound picture, he's are already so perfect

I pulled the picture out holding it up "Michael Edward" I hummed then jumped hearing a click

I sat up I shoved the picture in my book stashing it under my pillow the door slid open

Not her majesty, Not Kimble

My father he looked kinda shocked himself "hello son" I'm sure since his last name was also Styles the door glitched and let him in

I cleared my throat my heart thumping and clogging up my throat "what are you doing here?" I'm shocked I didn't stutter

"I just came to see you... check up on you" he walked over my door closing behind him I turned myself so I sat my legs over the edge of my bed he sat next to me

"What?" I furrowed my eyebrows what in the hell is he talking about he'd never 'checked up' on me before "are you okay?"

He looked at me "me? Fine" he looked at his feet he glanced at me then back at his feet "you're getting older"

This is starting to scare me and what am I supposed to fucking say to that 'am I?' bloody fucking right I am when I didn't say anything he looked at me "you know I... care for you right? Want what's best for you?"

"are you dying?" I blurted he frowned deeply making a disgusted face

"WHAT?! No fucker I'm not dying" he huffed

"Then what is all this caring shat?" I shrugged

"Your mother sent me okay?" He growled knowing I caught his bluff

"That sounds about right" I nodded

"Yeah well I feel that way too" he groaned "anyway what all this means ,what it's all leading up to, is you're a man Harold" he looked at my hands "you've got the rings" I got them early because most didn't fit his thin fingers "you've got the job" he sighed "now you need a family, a wife, some kids" he looked at me

"I want that for you" he smiled something rarely ever given to me

"I want that for me too" I agreed "Trust me I want a wife and children"

He nodded "good that's good I'm happy you've got your head on straight" he shrugged "why don't you come home on your days off you can meet a girl get the ball rolling you know"

I frowned deeply "I've already got a girl" I mumbled not thinking through what I've just said before it came tumbling out past my lips

He turned his eyebrows raised "what? Who? Where is she? Why haven't you brought her home?"

I didn't have an answer there's no way I could come up with anything believable, anything I can stick to "s-she's..." I trailed off

"Harry? Who is she?" He pushed I swallowed hard

"Well I'm not with her..." I lied ready to break a sweat at the pressure he was putting on me

"Yes well your mother and I are concerned Harry..." he sighed "your mother tells me you talk about the Queen a lot, have chats with her about the prince and all, and that's fine no one is telling you you can't be friendly but Harry I wonder if your taking more out of it than you should be"

My god he thinks I have a crush on the Queen Damn I mean he's right but he's a bit late for this I mean almost a year late I've got a son on the way for Christ sake

I wonder if I can be as convincing as Alexis "what do you mean I'm doing my job?" I think I'll just play dumb

"Yes but I mean I couldn't blame you son she's beautiful one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen and it's real ,she's real, but she's royalty, she's married, and to top it all off she's with child"

"I know I know all of this I don't understand the problem" I shrugged

"I don't want you to get attached to her that's what I'm getting at if you want her... it's-its understandable... but you can't display that" he shook his head "and most importantly you can't hold out for somebody you can't have if you always have feelings for her and marry another woman and father some children no one would be the wiser and even if they did find out it's just a joke it's unattainable it's like a celebrity crush it's not taken so seriously"

Gees I mean I don't know if he's beating around the bush here but sounds like he's had an eye on her too and he's had the key to success this whole time love another girl but know you can't have her so still love her but marry someone on the side and be sure to get a few kids out of it

Great advice

"Uhh okay..." I nodded "that was a lot to take in"

He nodded back "think it over" he patted my back and got up stepping out

Leaving me to sit and stare she's not entirely something I can't have I just can't have her publicly yes I do hate that but I mean I will have her maybe soon

But if Henry doesn't die...

If Alexis and I have this son and Henry doesn't die what would I do

Alexis promised me she'd tell Michael either way but it all depends on when he dies when she'll tell him if he makes it into Michael's teens she promised to tell him at 16 but that's 16 years of him believing another man is his father what if he doesn't accept me?

His father could be the king or a lowly guard

No no he'd be sensible he'll be like Alexis he'll hate the fucker like we both do

I wouldn't miss too much Im always around Alexis anyway and she'll keep him around her

If Henry doesn't die I don't get to be a father sure I'll still act like one I know Alexis would push Mike my way but I know it'd be gut wrenching to have to sit there and watch my son call another man No call a pig his father

I rubbed my face and laid back glazing at my blank white ceiling

It's not all about me I'm sure Alexis is worried about things like this too she's probably as conflicted as me

But do I regret being with her? regret having a baby with her? regret loving her?

No she's my everything