Been Here All Along

04| seclude

"Sometimes change is inevitable." - Unknown

   My alarm played games with me yet again this morning. It went off 15 minutes late, which may not seem like much, but it is when you only wake up 25 minutes before your class. Predictably, I rolled into my final class of the semester right on time and didn't want to draw attention to myself so I sat in the back row.

Yesterday, Sunday, I called into work for a multitude of reason. Number one: I didn't want to talk to anyone. Number two: I didn't want to risk seeing Ian. Number three: I didn't want to talk about Ian.

I completely isolated myself for 24 hours, but now all of my friends are hounding me to talk about my conversation with Ian from the other day.

"Josie Elle, stop walking this instant!"

The second class ended, I turned and bolted out the door, yet Kaila managed to catch up with me in the blink of an eye.

I did always tell her she should've ran track in high school.

I halted mid-step, only because I knew she'd catch up at one point and using my energy would just be a waste.

"So?" She looked at me expectantly, waiting for some type of elaboration.

   "We talked," I shrugged. I didn't want to go into detail, but I didn't have much of a choice.

   "Come on, Jos. Something has to be running through your mind right now."

Kaila knows me better than anyone ever has and anyone ever will. She's been by my side through thick and thin. And she can read me like I used to be able to read Ian. She wants me to confide in her because she can't read my emotions right now. How do I know that? Well, because I don't even know my emotions right now.

"He's home. I've been waiting for this day for four years, and—" I physically couldn't continue. I didn't know what I wanted to say next. Before any tears had even fully formed, I ran the back of my hand over my eyes.

I've had yet to cry, and I plan to keep it that way for as long as possible.

"We just talked about ourselves a little, to catch up."

"Joel come up?"

"He told me you told him."

"Sorry, it just slipped," Kaila shot me an apologetic look. "Okay, maybe it didn't, but I wanted him to know what he was going into, so he didn't expect some cliché reunion."

"It's okay," I chuckled softly. "It was probably for the better." I doubt he's still hung up on me, but it saved me from an awkward talk. I don't think I'm cut out for the whole "telling your ex-boyfriend/ex-best friend about your new boyfriend" type of talk.

"Does Joel know he's home?"

"Oh, everyone knows," I murmured. "Mr. Westchester freaked when he saw Ian. As soon as Ian had left, he was already planning a welcome home party for him."

"Oh, that's why he wants all the high schoolers working this weekend," she realized.

Mr. Westchester works Kaila, Jocey, Cara, Joel, and I as often as our schedules permit, but he, also, has several high school employees. They take up more of the weekend and night shifts given their schedules. He's having them work this weekend so that my friends and I can all reunite with Ian without worrying about work. Little does Mr. Westchester understand, whether I was working or not, my mind would not be focused in on work anyway.

"You going to go?"

"Of course." At one point, a very key part of my life, Ian was my whole world. I'm elated he's home safe.