Been Here All Along

06| first

"How can we not talk about family when family is all we've got?" - Wiz Khalifa

*6 years ago*

   I wanted answers.
   I wanted a clear and concise explanation as to why I had feelings for my best friend.

   Naturally, as a confused 16 year old girl, I asked my big brother who I was sure knew all about the world.

   I'm still pretty sure he does.

   He told me, "Girls fall for their guy best friend for the same reason guys fall for their girl best friend. We all like easy. It's easy for a girl to trust a boy and tell him everything when there are no feelings involved. Then, you realize that he already knows everything and he's not gone anywhere, so why wouldn't you like him? He already knows all of your quirks, yet he's still around. And that's why we tend to fall for our closest friends."

   Those weren't all the questions I had and all the answers I wanted though. Another main one being: how on earth do I tell Ian? Do I even tell him? What will happen next?

   "You just got to wing it, Jos," Anthony had said. "You never know unless you try."

   And that is the exact reason why I practically sprinted three blocks over, climbed up our tree house meeting place, and demanded he meet me.

   "Josie Elle, what a pleasurable surprise," Ian greeted with his usual playful grin as he emerged from the ladder through the floor of the treehouse.

   He had on a pair of camouflage khakis with a gray t-shirt and his hair was neatly sleeked back, meaning he just got home from JROTC training. As tired as he looked, he still looked grateful for my spontaneous visit.

   "How was training?" I asked, desperately trying to mask my nervousness. Ian plopped down directly next to me on the small couch.

   "Tiring, as usual." With a loud sigh, he draped his shoulder behind my back and leaned backward as he shut his eyes.

   Maybe I shouldn't spring this on him while he's tired. That's just rude, isn't it? I wouldn't want to have this conversation while I'm tired, personally.

   "Did you want to talk about something?" He slowly opened his eyes before looking at me. He must've noticed my nerves because the tired look in his eyes was almost immediately replaced with concern.

   I was not cut out for this conversation. I should've stayed home and prepped more with Anthony.

   "Jos..."

   "Okay," I let out a steady breath. "I don't know how you're going to take this, but I really hope it doesn't change anything if you don't feel the same, but—"

   And Ian Miller decided to cut my panicked, nervous, trembling speech off by smashing his lips against mine.

   As shocked as I was, my body responded almost instantly. I kissed him back with everything in me, my hands grasping at the back of his sweaty gray shirt.

   By the time our kiss ended, we were both breathing heavily, one of his hands was on the small of my back while the other was on my face, and the back of his shirt was all wrinkly from my tight grip.

   "I like you, too," he whispered, smiling a a smile that radiated a happiness I'd never seen from him before.

   "You didn't even let me say it before you cut me off," I joked lightly, still at a distance where I could feel his breath on my face. It's like we both refused to put any distance between us, in case something were to happen to the other.