Been Here All Along

36| lost

"Take me back to the night we met." - Lord Huron

The day was like any normal day. I stood by the cash register with my phone on the counter, ready to answer a phone call from Ian in case he calls. He hasn't called yet this week, but it is only Tuesday.

"Morning, Josie," Kaila said as she strolled in casually, as if she is typically here on a Tuesday morning.

"What're you doing here?" I demanded to know, grinning widely.

I love my work friends, but I miss having Kaila around all the time.

"Getting breakfast, duh," she chuckled.

"The usual?"

"Always." I placed Kaila's order of 3 pancakes and 3 sausage links, then got her a large orange juice. She gets that exact order every time she goes out to breakfast, no matter how hungry she actually is.

Being a Tuesday morning and during the school year, Westchester wasn't busy in the slightest. There's only been three old couples since we opened, but two of them were long gone by now. Now it's just me, Kaila, and two old ladies sipping coffee together.

I sat back down in front of the cash register next to Kaila, who was sitting on the other side of the high top counter.

The sound of my phone ringing only got me excited for a second, before I recalled the specific ringtone I have for unknown numbers. The person calling was a close second to Ian Miller, none other than Hayden Miller.

   "Hayden!" I greeted, happiness evident in my tone. It's always nice to receive unexpected calls from him. "I wasn't expecting a call from you. How are you?" I usually try to call Ian's family at least once a week to stay in touch, but I text Mrs. Miller almost everyday.

   "Not good, Jos, I'm not going to lie to you." I frowned, both confused and concerned. Hayden has never really come to talk to me about his feelings before, which is also why I'm concerned. It must be really intense.

   "What's wrong?"

   "Where are you right now?" I don't really see how this question is at all relevant.

   "Work, in the cafe."

   "Go to the back room."

   "Okay?" I said while shrugging at Kaila who was giving me a confused look. Me, too, sister. By now, I was fully confused. Why was it necessary for me to leave the room?

   "Josie..." Hayden whispered, his voice cracking, as if he was about to break some earth shattering news. And he did. "Ian died yesterday."

   My breath hitched in my throat. I was no longer accepting oxygen into my lungs because I'd forgotten how to in a moments time. I stared blankly at the wall, silently holding the phone to my ear for several seconds until I completely lost it.

   My phone crashed to the floor, likely shattering, and I was quick to follow with a painfully sad cry of agony.

   I was a literal mess on the floor of the back room, sobbing uncontrollably and barely managing to breathe.

  "Josie?!" I heard Kaila exclaim from the other side of the closed door. She pushed open the door and immediately dropped to my side. "Jos, what's wrong?"

   I couldn't answer between my sobs and the physical pain my heart felt. Hayden's news had felt like someone ripped out of my heart and viciously stomped on it. It's like... one minute I was standing in the middle of a completely lit up street, then all of the street lights were taken out, and I was standing alone in the darkness.