"I can't fight this feeling anymore." - REO Speedwagon
*3 years ago*
*November*
It's been a year and three months since Ian left. Obviously, I'm doing better now, but I'm still no where near the girl I used to be. I've lost this light in my life that Ian brought me. It's just been a whole lot of darkness for a long time now; I'm just used to it at this point.
"Josie!" Cara whisper-shouted as she ran into the back room of the cafe where we take our breaks.
Cara is one of those friends that always has a smile on her face and a positive outlook on life. You either hate her for her upbeat attitude, or love her for it. I love her for it because, when she's around, it's like a nightlight. Not the sunshine type of light Ian was to me, but enough to remind me of what's good in life.
"What's up?"
"Mr. Westchester just hired a new employee. He's a sophomore at West Coast U and plays football! Insert heart eye emoji!" She mock-fawned over him.
I rolled my eyes and chuckled softly. "What're you doing talking to me about him? Go talk to him."
"Not without you." I didn't even have a chance to argue before Cara was tugging on my arm to get me outside of the cafe.
I guess it's a good thing it was windy and chilly today, so the park was dead.
Standing outside by the playground was Mr. Westchester and Caroline with a tall, muscular guy that's our age, obviously the guy that Cara was just telling me about.
"Josie, Cara, come introduce yourselves!" Mr. Westchester insisted from a distance. Cara and I exchanged semi-panicked looks, then scurried over to say hey.
Even my desperately in love self could admit that this guy was definitely quite the looker. Ian's the only guy I'll ever have eyes for, but wow.
"Ladies, this is our newest employee, Joel Addison." Little did Mr. W know, Cara somehow already had half his backstory.
"I'm Cara, this is Josie."
Joel smirked at me, giving me the most obvious once-over. I was immediately repulsed in every aspect. No girl likes a guy that acts like girls are a piece of meat, including me.
"Nice to meet you, ladies." His voice, how soft and intriguing it was, completely contradicted his actions. If I were to just hear his voice, I'd think he's a sweet man that belongs in some stereotypical nice-guy movie. However, his blunt once-over didn't agree with that.
"Joel plays football over at West Coast, and he's been job hunting. I think he's going to fit in pretty well here."
I wouldn't say I was glaring at him, but I definitely had my eyes narrowed at him.
Cara said enthusiastically, "I'm sure," at the same time I said, "We'll see." Mr. W didn't notice my sass, but everyone else did. Caroline was the only one to raise her eyebrow at me, questionably. I think Cara noticed his dog-like actions, too, which is why she didn't question me. As for Joel, he just smirked; he knew exactly what was going through my mind and all he was doing was confirming my thoughts.
~•~
*2 months later*
*January*
When I can feel a anxiety attack arising, it's scary. My whole body starts to shake and my heart physically tightens in my chest. It's hard to control my breathing and my tears threaten to fall. It's a ton of feelings I dread all coming at me at once.
YOU ARE READING
Been Here All Along
Teen Fiction"Ian Miller was the light. He made everything better and everything easier. When I had to wake up at 7 in the morning, I didn't mind as much because I knew I'd get to see Ian. In every situation, Ian saw the positives and was the light at the end of...
