Been Here All Along

24| secrets

"You don't have to be afraid because we're all the same." - Shawn Mendes

I stepped out of the shower, turning it off as I did so. I was drying my body and getting ready to exit the bathroom when I overheard Kaila and Ian conversing in the living room right outside the bathroom.

   So I paused and listened in for a second.

   "You just have to be who you are, and be proud of it, Kai. If someone can't accept you for you, then that is their loss." Ian gave his advice. I don't know what his advice was for, but it sounded like it was useful.

   "Yeah," she sighed. "I guess I'm just not ready for anyone to know."

   I'm not going to lie, I so badly wanted to stay with my ear pressed against the bathroom door and listen in on their private conversation that was probably linked to the secret Kaila told Ian before he left, but I couldn't disrespect Kaila's privacy like that. She has made it very clear time and time again that it's not something she is ready to have out in open air yet. I have to respect that, no matter how hard it is for me.

   So I stood up and readjusted my towel around my waist and opened the door over-dramatically loud so they knew to put a pin in their conversation. I'm obviously not meant to hear it.

   Kaila looked incredibly stressed and uncomfortable to be in this situation, which is unusual for her. She's not the type of person to show her weak points, like the fact she is currently uncomfortable.

   "I'm going to go lay down, I'm pretty tired." She excused herself from the living room and headed to her bedroom. She just got home from work, and I was surprisingly not scheduled today. Ian, on the other hand, only has an hour before he goes in to help Mr. Westchester with some "behind the scenes business work" as they like to call it. I don't stop to question what that even means.

  Ian followed me into my bedroom and plopped down on my bed as I rummaged through my drawers for something to wear. For some reason, walking around campus was especially exhausting and I sweat so much that I felt disgusting. I've been eager to shower all day.

   Once I was clothed, much to Ian's dismay, I laid down next to him in bed with a tired sigh.

   "Long day, Papps?"

   "Very." Thursday's are literally my least favorite day of the week because of my tight class schedule and then the fact I usually have to work. I got lucky and didn't have to work today; instead, I spent my entire day on campus for school. "How'd therapy go this morning?" Hopefully better than the last session.

   "She went easy on me today, that's for sure. Nothing as intense as Saturday's session." Ian and I never talked about what got him so worked up, he just apologized and said he'd try and control it better next time. He's still yet to admit to me that he was diagnosed with PTSD and that he takes medication for it.

I'm choosing to respect his decision to keep me uninformed with his mental health for now. I know he is still struggling to adjust to life back home, and I don't want to make it any harder on him.

"What were you and Kaila talking about? She looked a little distraught." More like a lot. It's better to pretend I know less than the little I do know.

"Oh, just some romance troubles."

I couldn't help the frown that appeared on my face. I'm a little offended that Kaila chose to go to Ian with her struggles instead of me. Knowing less than the bare minimum about Kaila's love life never really bothered me because I figured she would rather just keep to herself, but the fact that she was more comfortable confiding in Ian than me actually stung.