Waves Don't Die

hurt people hurt people

1.

It was two years ago when I willingly took scalpel

to the center of my chest,

slit my skin for everyone to see,

that i was breathing and beating,

in love

I wrote poem on poem

about sweet sap and fluttering lashes

I traced his arms with soft patterns,

whispered sultry nothings in his ear,

thought that would make him love me

I didn't notice the leeches crawling beneath my split skin,

Only when my eyes rolled to the back of my head

did I realize that he was feeding on my blood

He fled when my insides sucked dry

lungs, heart, ribcage, empty

2.

It took a year to burn the leeches out,

I was tired of the flies nesting in my veins

Thread and needle sewed skin onto skin

I was done.

I met her through a mutual friend

She had streaks of blonde and brunette,

pity laughed at my empty jokes

She would take my shirt off

trace the scars on my chest,

wrap her fingers around my hair

I let her fall in love with me

She always painted her nails yellow,

It made me smile when her nose scrunched

My insides longed to grow another heart

But,

I just couldn't love her back

I had already sewn my skin

secured by graphene rubber bands--

unbreakable.

She had the same look on her face that I had

just a year ago,

It hurt like shit

I saw her a few months later

She was wearing a low cut tank top

Low enough that I could see the top of the scars

That sat in the middle of her chest

She was with someone

He looked at her like she was everything,

like she was his meaning of life

like I did with him,

like she did with me.