Waves Don't Die

On My Knees

I feel uneasy when you're here

My cheeks should be rosy,

hair whipping in the wind, carefree

But I can only think about

how cold I feel when you leave

Sometimes I forget you exist

You don't visit like you used to

you rarely left back then--

only when my friends were mean

or when I did a bad thing

Now I inhale and you're gone,

exhale and I don't see you for months

I get out of bed and you're not there

Why aren't you there?

I've gone nights without sleeping,

laid in the dark listing reasons you hate me,

doodled on my arms until I became red

I know you're here because

I'm with people you love

But my knees are on the floor,

hands clasped tight

Please don't leave when they're gone

I'll smile until it hurts,

paint my nails yellow to remind me of you

I'll even force myself to love the boy

you admire so much

Please, happiness,

I'll do anything to get a

glimpse of you again