losing light [RPDR•TRIXYA]

vogue

trixie

each of us took turns "voguing" down the "runway"- courtney walking sassily, willam shaking her butt like a whore, me just doing my best, alaska dragging herself down the hall and katya actually voguing. she dropped and danced and i stood in awe.
"you're gonna catch flies, trixie." willam laughed.
i rolled my eyes but felt myself going russian red.

katya turned to me breathless.
"how was that?"
"it...it was amazing."
"thanks, trix. you did great too."
"thanks." i said, but i felt like she was lying.

everyone got into their pyjamas in front of each other. willam was basically wearing a crop top and underwear, courtney had cute shorts and a matching white top and alaska was wearing a shirt and sweatpants.

i turned to katya. she hesitated too. we'd changed in front of each other when we were younger...pre-puberty. changing now made me nervous.

courtney smiled. "you can change in the bathroom if you want."
i looked to katya. would i mind changing in front of her? was it just the other three making me nervous? ugh.

katya smiled. "i'll wait, ya dope."
"thanks."

i rushed to the bathroom and threw on my fluffy pink onesie. i loved pink. it was just the happiest colour.
katya went to get changed as soon as i stepped back into courtney's bedroom. the amount of crappy boyband posters practically burned my retinas.

katya returned in a silky black slip on.

i don't know why she did this to me. i'd never thought about girls the way i thought about katya. i tried to push the thoughts away but they remained in the back of my mind.

"alaska, are you okay?" i asked her.
"i'm fiiiiine." that was the thing about alaska. not only was she a horrible liar, but she talked so unbelievably slow.
"no you're not, tell us what's going on."
"i broke up with sharon." she sighed.
"why?"
"because i had to. whenever anyone thought of my they thought i was just sharon's girlfriend. i want to be my own brand." she said dramatically.
"so for attention?" willam teased. alaska glared at her.
"no...i loved her but i couldn't be with her. she didn't want to be with me after high school. i was just like a safety blanket. she'd throw me out as soon as she didn't need me anymore."

katya subtly rolled her eyes. "i'm sure that's not true. maybe she has stuff going on. sharon's really nice."
"maybe. it's fine. she's dating chad from lockwood now."
"oh, that's awful." courtney tried to add something to the conversation.
"i know."

"let's lighten things up a little." willam put on a cd and i knew what was coming.
"HIEEE, GDAY AND GENERAL INTRODUCTIONS, GOT A NEW SONG AND HERES THE INSTRUCTIONS."

"GOD NO!" katya joked, falling back onto the bed. i laughed.
alaska, willam and courtney formed a "girl group", thanks to willam gaining loads of popularity from her last one with detox and vicky. their group was called "the AAA girls" or the american apparel ad girls, because all of them shopped there so often they might as well have been sponsored. they got a bunch of really crappy songs out on cd and bothered everyone with them.

katya and i lay on courtney's king sized bed and tried to block out their 'singing'.
she looked at me. "have you ever thought of someone in a way you probably shouldn't?"
"yeah. all the time." i thought of how i felt about her.
"me too." she sat up. so did i.
"is that bad?" i wondered out loud.
"no. i don't think so. maybe."
"okay."

i thought about my barbie and my monster high. i thought about me and katya.

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word count: 628
whoops that's pretty gay
NO HATE TO SHARON YALL KNOW I LOVE HER AAAH