losing light [RPDR•TRIXYA]

miracle

katya
a loud guitar blasted in my headphones as we sat at break, eating.
"so are you joining the cheerleading squad?" trixie asked.
"maybe."
"you totally should. you'd be so good."
"thanks. are you?"
she laughed loudly. "god no, katz. as if." she took a drink of water. "aja is though. you should talk to her. she's pretty too."
"i've known her for years. gross."
"you've known me since kindergarten!"
"but we're not dating." i said and it hurt.
"true." she sighed.

"hey, i'll join if you join." i shrugged.
"okay."
"oh. i didn't expect you to say yes."
"well i did, the uniforms are cute this year. so why not?"
"now i'm excited."
"i'm glad." she smiled, her face going light red. she was so cute.

"we'll try out after school."
"great."
"you guys are joining the cheerleading squad?" willam dropped her backpack on the bench and sat down.
"yeah, why?"
"detox asked me if i would so i agreed because it was easier than thinking of an excuse."
"mood." i sighed.

-
bell, math, phys ed. you know the drill.
-
alaska seemed overly happy at lunch, seeing as just the last period she'd been depressed.
"so why the change of mood, lask?"
"first of all, sharon and i got back together!"
"what?!"
"i know! it's a miracle." she batted her eyelashes like a disney princess and i rolled my eyes at the word 'miracle'.
"and! the aaa girls got booked!"
"who in gods name would book you three?" i half joked, half genuinely asked.
"this local bar. apparently it's girl night so."
"you're all minors." trixie sniggered.
"not according to the id willam bought from aquaria." courtney joined us at the table, passing out badly photoshopped posters of their faces under 'AAA GIRLS HEADLINING ROSCOES- HOSTED BY TRANNIKA REX'
"okay. now this makes sense." trixie remarked and i wheezed with laughter.

willam was running round handing out the same shitty posters and swearing at kids who wouldn't take them.
i rolled my eyes for the hundredth time that minute, pretty sure at this rate they'd be stuck in the back of my head permanently.
_
naomi
i sat across from kim and bob, who were staring me down intensely. i placed the bun between my
teeth and bit, reluctantly chewing and swallowing. i felt sick.

"well done, nims." kim spoke with her stupidly adorable lisp, but i cringed at the nickname. i hadn't heard that since miss visage tried to be clever in 9th grade.

"hey, naomi, maybe you could trade the sub for some fruit?" bob asked with a smile.

"fine."

i was relieved that the plastic box of fruit could be consumed in easy swallows with no chewing. no disgusting noises, and it supported the people who grew the fruit in the first place. i googled it.

i excused myself after eating and went to the computer room. i loaded up my blog.

SMALLSTALK

hey guys, it's namz. i thought i'd do a bit of a serious smallstalk since i feel in a serious mood.

i have an odd relationship with food. i'd rather not eat in front of people, i'd actually much rather starve.
i don't like spending money on food when i could spend it on experiences; concerts, shopping trips with friends, vacations.

a lot of the time some of these wishes don't quite come true since i'm FORCED by my best friends to buy food and eat it, but honestly? i can't change how i've grown up.

i'd sell bracelets i made in middle school for people's candy money, i wouldn't buy anything after school and i'd put it in a metal box under my bed, hopefully safe.

if it was a lucky night, it would still be there when i woke up. if not, it would be in my brothers pockets that morning.

if i found a way to make a lot and hide it from them, i'd buy my mom something pretty. or one of my sisters. i'd always admired them for being so beautiful and strong.

it's not an eating disorder, or me trying to lose weight. it's saving money and i don't want to be embarrassed if i eat in a weird way, ya know?

anyway. that concludes smallstalk, with your host, naomi smalls.
peace out

i read it over a hundred times, changing phrasing so i didn't sound crazy. eventually, i selected the whole thing and clicked backspace. nevermind. the world can know another day.

-
kimchi

i got a notification for naomi's blog. i opened it.

SMALLSTALK

hey guys, it's namz. i thought we'd do a review of the new sugarpill liquid lipsticks so yeah. here we go :)

___
word count: 777
this chapter is fun ajfjsnfj
i thought it gave a little view into naomi's actual reasoning for her lack of food consumption (which is really just my reasoning. if you're one of my friends, this is why i don't eat much. i always used to buy stuff for my sisters when i was a kid instead of spending my money on toast).

i'm also super excited for the cheerleading fluff (there will be a lot) because i love some soft-ass cheering with my favourite lesbians
and of course the aaa girls concert!!

so there u go here's this.