YOU NAME IT

"BACK TO THE ORIGINS"

We all need to remember where we've come from and look back at where we were every once in a while, in order to figure something very important out about our current situation. Do we truly deserve the pain inflicted on us? Did the chicken come first or the egg?

Egg being you and your honest mistakes, chicken being the assholeness in the world. Which caused which?

Do people have innate personality traits that they were born with, or do our actions and well-being merely reflect our childhood and our upbringing? And what does that say about the villains of our times?

Could Hitler have been less of a gigantic dick if he was born in a better household and had better parents? Or even that damn art school he wanted to go to.

And if we learn that a person has a sad backstory, does that excuse the shitty things they have done and they become exempt from following "The basic conventional human 101 rules"? Or are they still obliged to be virtuous citizens?

But after all, who could have any idea how to answer those questions? What more are we than a group of featherless bipeds forsaken on a planet, having more than a recommended level of existential questions in their heads with nothing but a crappy flashlight from the dollar store to find our way?

Do you have the answers? Who has the answers to how people work or how one should act? Is it me with my flimsy knowledge of philosophy? Is it your therapist who wouldn't even talk to you for more than a second than you paid for? Is it your religion books? Or maybe it's the DIY books you bought from the 20th century France, telling you that you can shape these 70 some years you spend on earth however you like?

We were brought up in a world full of assumptions, without any evidence being able to back that up. There're only speculations, mostly based on feelings.

"I feel like I am gonna throw up."

Doesn't. He's just a little bit under the weather.

"I feel like I've finally stabilized my life."

Gets fired the next week and has to start the soul crushing process of "Job hunting" once again after he did it just 3 months ago.

"I believe I am free and I make my own decisions in this life."

Can't control the overwhelming crippling phobia when he is in a dark room.

"I feel like I'm in love."

Dumps their butt at the first sign of trouble.

The thing about life is that it's like the joker from "The dark knight". Unpredictable, anonymous, truly uncalled for, crazy at its core, but most importantly, quite fair.

(Quick hint; It sucks for everybody.)

And what sucks more than a mind that knows there're only abstract meanings up for grabs, and a subconscious that longs desperately for the old meanings to come alive again. This never ending conflict.

This feeling of ambiguity is exactly what is needed to motivate you into visiting the bar again, when you clearly had to do your assignments. But you know that this night, this special night, is not to be wasted. So you decide to indulge yourself. If you have any agency that is. (Or you'll actually waste tonight with alcohol, I don't know, I am very confused.)

We don't know where we've come from or what we are doing, but we sure as hell know that it's gonna be alright. Or it continues to get so bad that we just accept it without the energy of contesting, and we will just settle with the lemons that life has given us.

Cause for us, the stubborn comical irrational happiness seekers, the thought of a happy ending is as legit as an actual happy ending.

(TO BE CONTINUED)