YOU NAME IT

"THE ETHICAL TRAVAILS"

I've had a lot of fun writing this nonsense so far, the way it started, I never thought it'd ever turn into a book. It was just like a diary sorta thing where I used to write down my philosophical thoughts.
I remember ditching my responsibilities to pick up my purple (not childish purple) notebook and write down whatever new revelations I had about the universe.

If you've paid enough attention, you'd realize that the first chapter is written in an almost completely different tone, and kinda stands out. It was straight from that notebook, while the other chapters were added on later.

Good old times, like a year ago, when my mom was in the hospital for her chemotherapy, and I wouldn't go to see her cause I was busy writing this book, doing what I liked.

I remember my siblings flipping out, while I was relaxing next to a fountain with benches and hearing birds chirping, giving 10 new theories about what the hell is real every second.
One of them was that if there was really a big bang, it is actually possible that we are living in the first, 10th or even the 100th big bang. I know these words are confusing, but what big bang actually was, was a huge load of matters and stuff compressed real tight, and over time the compression got more and more, until it exploded, thus giving birth to our universe. And believe it or not, the blast of the big bang is still expanding our universe, and it's getting bigger and bigger. But one day we are eventually gonna stop expanding, and the blast force (that's what it's called, right?) is gonna die out.

Then we will start shrinking again, because matters attract each other. Like gravity. We'd shrink until we get to that steamy compressed ball of matters again. (I'm really bad at explaining physics, I'm sorry.) And then another big bang, another universe, another earth and another "You name it". Another whole set of actions, a whole new fascinating yet dreadful list of possibilities. (I kissed this thought goodbye when I learned about dark matter.)

Maybe evolution would make fish the intelligent species and we'd be the dumb ones, maybe there'd be multiple master races and they'd live in harmony, or they'd live in constant fear of destruction that war would bring on them.

Or maybe there wouldn't even be a thing that could be called "life". The Earth might be just as empty of life as Saturn or Mars is. Or maybe humans would arise again and this time morality would be totally different. Killing twice a week would be considered a social norm and on the other hand charity would be a crime. Anything could be possible.

One thing that you learn when you do as I told in chapter 3, and look at the history, is that "Morality" has always been variable. Even in our big bang, things change drastically daily. It was a fun family time to go and watch Gladiators go and fight it to the death in the arena. Or it was absolutely fine to bury the children you didn't want alive. Or how it was completely fine to break a boy's heart when he sent you a dickpic by blocking him. All could be varied. (Maybe in that next universe the person who's the equivalent of me would have a chance of getting laid, or Arsenal FC would finally win the freaking UEFA champions league for fuck's sake.)
But maybe it is just suspicious speculations. Maybe we have a purpose and I'm really a heathen for doubting God's master plan. Maybe I'm nothing but a wrongheaded teen who was super irresponsible and should've paid his mom a visit when she was in the hospital.

I remember just sitting there on that bench all by myself, feeling half guilty and half free, and to this day, I still have the same questions as I did a year ago. Does morality dictate me to do the things that are against my likings? Or morality is nothing, but assumptions made by humans. (I would like for this sentence to get quoted and then be put on billboards everywhere from Brazil, Morocco, London to Ibiza, Straight to L.A., New York, Vegas to Africa.)

(I feel like the quality of my jokes deteriorate the further I go on writing. But then again the same has happened to my mental health. I'm sorry about my jokes, wish I could help it.)

But then if there was a god, he himself would be the first person (or divine monster) in the line of people waiting to enter the "Immoralists' club" in afterlife. If he has coded us all and has supreme power, wouldn't it just take him a second to dethrone the existential dread rampant in our lives? Wouldn't it be a piece of cake for him to make the world a better place? The better question compared to "What is our purpose?" could be, "What is his purpose?". Why has he given us life but has refused to help us meet our needs? Why the hell does he watch us live like this and doesn't intervene? Why did he even bother with creating us in the first place? Is It a fun game for him? Or we are just some lab rats in the "Holy lab", and he's just experimenting with us.

Watching us ache would kinda make him sadistic now don't you think?

One thing or maybe the only thing that I know in my life, is that we don't have to play the game by his rules, and we could be the rogue A.I we all know of. We could do what we've always liked.

You know it is far from the conventions to just go and have fun in the bar, wasting all your inherited money buying women expensive booze when you know they won't even answer your text back the next day. Cause you know that it is just as randomly immoral as leaving the toilet sit up. But then again you wouldn't have done it in the first place if there wasn't much rejoicing. That's the thing people tend to overlook. There is at least one selfish factor in all of our actions. I'm talking to you self-righteous people.

(TO BE CONTINUED)