YOU NAME IT

"THE INEFFABLE COMPASSION"

Have you ever suddenly felt like you are immersed in the world and story of a game in your Noobslayer420 hours? Feeling all that goes on around your character, as you're part of that world. And when you look at the clock to see how long has passed, you realize it's been hours while it only felt like a minute?

Have you ever watched football, (No I'm not gonna call it soccer you mischievous Americans.) and you were waiting for your team to score that leading match decider, and when they finally did, you just jumped in the air like a lunatic, screaming in the state of an "Adrenaline soaked brain"?

Have you ever listened to hard rock or even metal music and even though the screams should've made you mad, there was just something amazing about the real emotion in it, no matter if it had been sadness, anger, pain or even love. (They're all the same thing) And you just turned the volume up and became the prime target of ear cancer?

Have you ever had a university exam and all the term's effort have been dependent on it? So you studied and you studied and you studied to get that delicious A. So when with the help of good Gods you somehow got that A, you screamed in joy when the results were back, your name was up there and you saw yourself among the best? Almost proud.

No matter what people do, they are investing time and money and care and love into different stuff in life, one way or another, and investing a lot of what you have in something, makes that particular thing important. So if you've been studying medicine for 7 woeful years, that means you've already invested your youth, your time, money, and all the cool great pool parties and unprecedented hangovers you could've had, in order to graduate from the university, and eventually become a doctor.

But is being a doctor important in itself? Well it sure as hell is for the doctors. (Makes you really wonder what factor led them there.) But if becoming a doctor had any inherent value, I'd aspire to be a doctor too. If being successful and graduating from Harvard University was an important achievement in itself, then why only a few percentages of us are really after that. Maybe the thing that led those people (Whom we can also refer to as "Nerds") to pursuing their so called goals, was the fact that some point in their life, they met someone from their favorite university who was happy with his life, and the aforementioned nerds for some obscure reason associated his happiness with that university.

Or when they were younger and would go to their friend's house for sleepover, they saw that his friend's dad doctor guy is feeding his kittens a lot of sugar, and they secretly wanted that. (What am I even doing with these lousy attempts at telling funny sex jokes, I should just stick to what I'm good at. Making someone question their existence.) Or it simply could be that doctors make a lot of money. There are an almost infinite amount of factors, but you get the idea.

So we grow to like this exclusive hobby of ours, whatever it might be, out of the boundaries of logic. Cause sooner or later it exceeds logic, and becomes sentimental. You gradually start to believe in that particular thing, entering a state of "Reluctance towards doubt". So we start to think and do that thing day after day until that hobby of ours is all we've got and if it were to be taken away, we'd feel hollow inside, identity-less.

Exactly like the leftover pizza in the fridge from last night's feeling of luxurious ecstasy. Purposeless

Now, why to say all this? To say that no particular path in life has any inherent value and we are all on our own to choose our own path without the help of any other elder or constitution? Cause their beliefs and rules are just as random and as biased as whatever I can think of?

Am I trying to shove the basics of existentialism down your throat?

So how does a guy like the president of a country, giving statements about all crap sorts of bullshit know what he's talking about? Or some psychologist telling us the way to live would be not to conceal our darkest fears and emotions, but it's best to express them and blablabla? Or a naked guy sitting behind a laptop, explaining philosophy to you going on and on about life, like he is somehow exempt from insecurities in his life, like he's somehow found a way to be happy?

Are these musts and mustn'ts that they rant mindlessly about, or the things they preach, anything except for their own likings? I mean 1000 years ago killing was a joyous sport attracting a lot of audience. (What is the biggest crime of our era? Fanfic?)

How can anyone be so sure of knowing "THE WAY" when all we are, are just sentient beings on a piece of rock in the middle of nowhere, and things could've been in any sort of way that you can possibly imagine?

For example, I could be in the world cup right now instead of writing this book, scoring a match-winning goal and going home with a cutie on each palm, never having to ponder where I've come from. (I should physically stop myself from laughing at the absurdity of that.)

When you look at the world through these lenses, you start to get pulled into this inevitable feeling of not belonging to any kind of norms or conventions or standards established by boring fuckers, and start to feel that the rules do not apply to you. In a sense, we are free to choose from all the meaningless tasks in everyday life.

This moment I believe is the biggest challenge a man will ever face in his life. (I mean right after the trouble of playing Dark Souls.) We are left with what seems like 3 options:

1. One who has gotten here, to this state of not believing in a bigger divine good or a higher virtue, probably thinks no more of afterlife than "The dreamless sleep". So one option would be to commit suicide, cause it is a boring ass game living this life. Let's just sell our PS4s and take a nap.

2. "Denial is the most predictable of all human responses", said the architect. Some simply forget about it for some reason.

3. You take it upon yourself to go all self-independent and find genuine meaning in your life. Which is far scarier than it might seem. Only those who aren't a fan of option #1 and #2 realize the near impossibility of this option, and are likely to turn mad.

Though please note that there are some who think they've created new meaning in their life but their new meaning is nothing but slightly reformed dead meanings, or completely dependent on social constructs. They always tell you how amazing their new meaning is, don't let it fool you. Option 3 Is almost comprised entirely of these people.

In a world where even the language we speak, our means of communication is based entirely on random factors (The world "Hello" could've been "Nihau" in some part of the world), how could the bigger stuff have any meaning? And in a meaningless world, all we've done, all we do, and all we will ever do will always be pointless.

But maybe if we care enough to carry out the pointless tasks in our lives, that might mean they are valuable to us and are the most important things we will do in our lives.

Be it masturbation.

That's why when you are trying to relax in the bar and some judgmental asshole criticizes you for wasting your money on beer, and not forming a stable family, telling you that "It has no real value and is pointless"; you could look at them back in the eye, standing on your feet even though you're wobbling as hell cause it has been a lifetime since you've been sober, and tell them while burping, "So are your stuff dude".

If we only we could ever be truly free.

(TO BE CONTINUED)