I search but I can't never find ,
You Can't seem to leave my past behind....
don't wanna live so we try numbing the pain with these drugs
My anxiety is breaking me , it kills me
#Chapter16
Friday morning came and Essence was suffering again. Not from a hangover but from loneliness. Fur the first time in years she felt lonely , as if she had no one.
Essence sighed and went to her bathroom. She searched through all the cabinets looking for nothing in particular. She stopped once she came across her anti-Depression pills. She'd stop taking them when she first started high school.
She shook the bottle to check if there were pills in the bottle and just for Essence luck there was. She checked the date before putting not 1 but 3 pills in her hand.
She took the pills and drunk water. Essence wasn't a addict to pills , she knew her limit.
After taking the pills she calmed down a bit. A knock on the door interrupted Essence dozing off.
Essence groaned and went to the door. A teary eyed Treasure stood there shaking. Essence pulled her in and closed the door.
"Treasure babygirl you okay?" Essence asked. Treasure shook her head and hugged Essence tightly. Essence stood there confused on what to do. She wasn't good at comforting people or human emotions.
"I miss them, I-I saw families today and I just couldn't help it" Treasure says breaking down.
"I know how you feel" Essence says biting her lip. Treasure shook her angrily.
"Fuck you dont. YOU GOT AT LEAST SIBLINGS AND A MOMMA. Don't sit here and act like you could relate"
Essence closed her eyes and took a deep breathe , it was taking every thing in her to not curse Treasure out.
"When you say you break down because you saw families and wish you had one , I do to . Maybe ma situation not da same as yours but , I could relate
I hate seeing prefect families , only to know my family will never be like dat. My dad up and left us with harsh words when I was 13 and I feel like it's my fault. He said it was . And ever since then my mom treated me different then she did to Keith and August, since they had a different father than I did. She's mad at me because she also thought it was my fault he left. So she make sure I know that I don't mean anything to her or to anyone"
Essence says, she didn't have the strength to cry about it now , or ever. Treasure sighed and layed her head in Essence lap.
"How, how do you deal with it? Knowing your family will never be as perfect as others? Or knowing you'll never fully have one?"
"See that's the thing , I don't deal with it, I try ma best not ta think about it because those words still hurt, so I take what I can get which is ma two brothers and..." Essence trailed off looking down at Treasure smiling.
"You, Hennessy, Yasmeen and Even though Drea a dumb ass , I'm grateful for her to"
"I'm happy I have y'all to" Treasure says finally smiling. Essence smiled and pushed her off her lap and onto the floor.
"It's always you dat be making me be sentimental with yo ugly ass"
Treasure laughed and hugged her. "But you love me hoe"
"I don't"
"You wanna smoke?" Treasure asked.
Essence furrowed her eyebrows. "You smoke?" Treasure nodded.
"Since when?"
"After I visited their grave. I needed a way to numb my pain and A blunt seemed to help, so you smoking or nah?"
Essence thought about it. She had never smoke before but the thought of numbing her pain sounded nice so she simply nodded her head.
Treasure took out a already rolled blunt and a lighter. She lit the blunt and handed it to Essence.
Essence puffed it once before going into a fit of coughs. Treasure laughed.
"Bitch don't puff so hard"
Essence tried it again, finally getting it. She let the smoke come out her nose and laid back in satisfaction.
After a few puffs she was surely high, she passed it to Treasure, who took a few puffs, this pattern continued until the blunt was gone and they both was completely high.
"Life's not fair" Essence pouted.
"How"
"Like how birds can fly and humans can't, like I'm tired of using my feet-" Essence paused standing up.
"Fuck dat I'm finna fly" Essence says jumping around the room giggling. Treasure laughed and joined her, both of them jumping and bouncing around thinking they was flying.
A ring on the doorbell interrupted their flying sessions. Essence and Treasure shared a look before going to the door.
"Car? Why are you here?" Treasure asked.
"Um Essence texted me and told me to come over" Carson says. Essence let him in and closed the door.
"I did?" Essence says giggling. Carson furrowed his eyebrows noticing their behavior.
"Are- are y'all high?" He asked. Treasure laughed and shook her head.
"Car I wanna flyyyy" Treasure says jumping on his back. "Fly with me"
Essence giggled before falling on the sofa. Carterson sighed and walked to the other sofa and threw Treasure down. He stared at her eyes that was now red.
"Ooo daddy me like that" Treasure says putting her legs around his waist. Essence giggled and pulled out her phone.
"Porn Porn! Ouu me want ice cream Carson could you fix me ice creammm pweetttty pleasseee" Essence whined. Carson sighed and walked into the kitchen.
After fixing two ice creams he walked back to the living room, only to find both Essence and Treasure sleeping.
He put the ice cream back in the fridgerator. He carried them both to Essence room, one by one.
After covering them up he laid on the floor, and dozed off to sleep.
Essence woke up and tapped Carson. "Carson"
Carson opened his eyes staring at Essence in confusion. "Come on the bed, please"
Carson sighed before getting up and laying on the bed in between Essence and Treasure.
A few minutes later Essence slowly crept out of bed and went into the bathroom to throw up. Once she was done she wiped her mouth and sat on the floor for a while, thinking. She didn't know why she was throwing up so much , she honestly thought she was poisoned.
She got up and walked into her room only to find a wide eyed Carson staring at her.
*
I- 🌚
End Of Chapter 16 🦋
