Second Chance

THEODORE 20

It was a relief Soyi had spare chicken sa unit niya. Di ko talaga alam gagawin ko whenever Becca has tantrums. She would just cry continuously, not giving any care in the world! Hay jusko! I don’t know how Sab manages her. I would probably just cry too pag di ko siya mapapatahan.

Speaking of Sab, that woman! Bigla bigla na lang niya pinaiwan si Becca sakin since her mom will be on a business trip and she will have to go somewhere. Ano ako? Free lang din anytime?? Doesn’t she know CEO ako?? Not an unemployed man!

The next morning, I just decided to bring Becca to work. Pagkalabas namin ng unit, I was surprised to see Soyi with another man. They just went out from the elevator and it seemed like pareho silang papasok sa unit ni Soyi.

“Tita Athena!!!”, pagbabati ni Becca.
“Hi, Becca! Hi Theo.”, sabi naman ni Soyi.

I tried to give out a smile to her. When we both got on our own ways, Becca asked me a question.

“Daddy? Who is the guy? Is he her boyfriend??”

Boyfriend? Mukang Korean yung lalaki, di malayong there’s something between them.

“I don’t know.”

The whole day I worked inside the office. Ni hindi ko nga mapuntahan si Clyde ngayon because I have Becca with me. I can’t have her everywhere I go. So I just relayed a message to Trish so that mafinalize na ang kailangan nila Clyde for the rebranding. As for WAR, I decided to skip the meetings as magffocus na kasi sila sa girls department. Soyi has got that covered already.

While reviewing other documents, Paul came in my office.

“Pre—oh? Andito si Becca? Andito din baliw na nanay nito???”, pagbabati naman niya.
“Wag ka maingay, marinig ka niyang si Becca eh!”
“Hello tito Paul!”, sabi naman ni Becca.

Paul high fived her and gave me the documents I asked him to bring to me.

“Oh ayan. Pasalamat ka mabait ako.”
“Tss, I already said I’m sorry. I was….distracted.”
“Tsk tsk tsk.”

I raised an eyebrow on him.

“If the meeting had gone wrong, sigurado, di kita mapapatawad. I can’t really believe you ditched me because of your ex-fiance.”
“Shh! Ano ka ba. And how many times I would tell you, it’s not because of her.”
“Hmm, sabi mo eh.”, pagngingiti niya ng masama sakin.

Binato ko nga ng ballpen.

“Aray!! What's that for??? Affected ka agad eh!”

Ah talagang makakapatay ako eh. Tumayo nga ko at pinalo ko ng makapal na document tong si Paul. Buti na lang Becca has her own world in the couch playing with her coloring book.

“Hoy grabe foul na yan!!!”
“Nang madala ka!”

Inayos ni Paul yung damit niya at lumayo nga ng konti sakin.

“Teka nga maiba ako ha, baka naman…lumalambot ka na dyan kay Athena.”

I didn’t hit him this time. I wasn’t sure what to react.

“I’m not.”
“Hmm, di pa pala yung kumakain na kayong dalawa sa labas.”
“I told you, it was impolite not to ask her.”
“Eh bat di mo sinama yung ibang board members!!”
“Kasi umalis na sila! Teka nga bakit ba osyoso ka ng osyoso ha!!! Bumalik ka na nga sa trabaho mo!”, paninita ko dito.
“Fine fine. Balitaan mo na lang ako kung kelan ulit ang kasal ah.”

I didn’t just sit that down. Binato ko na sya ng sapatos ko.

Buti na lang nakailag siya. Magandang klase to no, sigurado bukol abutin nyan.
Sira ulo, anong kasal ulit? Di ko paparusahan sarili ko ng dalawang beses no. Minsan na kong namatay at ang tagal ko bago ako ulit nakabangon. I can’t kill myself with the same poison again.

I shouldn’t.

Pag-uwi namin ni Becca sa unit, para naman talagang pinaglalaruan kami ng tadhana. We saw Soyi and that guy again. But this time, paalis naman sila ng unit ni Soyi. Wag mong sabihin kakalabas pa lang nila simula kaninang umaga???

“Theo, right???”, sabi nung lalaki.

I looked at his hand extending to mine. I just shook hands then.

“Yes.”
“I’m Minhyuk, Soyi’s friend and labelmate. Do you want to eat with us???”
“No thanks.”
“Daddy can’t we eat with them???”, tanong ni Becca.

Ugh. Why did she have to ask that.

“Sumama na kayo Theo. Baka magtantrums ulit si Becca.”, sabi ni Soyi.

I then decided to just come with them. Sabi ni Soyi sundan na lang daw namin ying kotse nila and so I did. Although I felt stupid following her and her….male friend, I just did…because of Becca. She liked Soyi and I just wish she didn’t.

If I had known na sa Tagaytay pa pala ang balak nila kumain, di na sana ako pumayag. I just knew when we stopped by on a gasoline station and this Minhyuk told me he likes to have dinner in Tagaytay. Seriously??? Binilhan ko na lang muna si Becca ng fries.

When we got to this Korean restaurant in Tagaytay, wala na din masyadong tao but Soyi and Minhyuk had caps and masks on their faces. Tss. It's not as if ganun sila kasikat dito??

“Is it okay if I order korean barbeque??? Does your daughter eat that???”, tanong ni Minhyuk.
“Yeah, she eats anything.”
“Let’s just order chicken for her too.”, sabi naman ni Soyi.

When the orders came in, pinakain ko na agad si Becca. She loved the korean barbeque and of course the chicken. It was a bit sweet maybe that’s why gustong gusto niya. I was relieved kasi at least di sayang punta namin dito.

“I’ve heard this Korean restaurant is famous in this city! That’s why I asked noona if we can eat here!”, sabi ni Minhyuk.

I ignored him. Ever since we came, he was too loud. He tried having conversations with me too but I mostly just smiled or answered yes or no. Good thing Becca was good in talking to people too. They were both amused by her charm.

Nakita kong binibigyan ni Minhyuk si Soyi ng grilled beef.

“Noona, here. Eat more.”
“I’m fine! You should eat too!”
“Should I??”, pagpapacute nitong Minhyuk na to.

I could throw up. Masarap yung pagkain pero panira lang yung view. Tsk. Sinubuan ko na lang din si Becca.

After dinner, nagyaya pa si Minhyuk na magpunta sa overlooking. He said he wanted to see the Taal Volcano. Although gabi na yun, at wala na naman siyang makikita. But still, he insisted.
I gave my coat to Becca and wrapped her around it. Masyado na kasing mahamog.

“Noona! Can you wait for me here? I’ll just ask the locals if they can book us a tour in the lake! The production team will be happy to hear if we can have a vacation here!!”
“Huh? But it’s getting too late. I’ll just come with you.”
“No! I can handle myself. You can stay in the car for a while!”

At ayun, umalis na nga yung unggoy. Ano ba naman yun??? I looked at Becca and she already fell asleep.

“Shoot. Becca’s asleep already.”
“Nako, ipasok na natin siya sa sasakyan mo.”, sabi ni Soyi.

She helped me open the car and I carried Becca to the back seat to let her lie down.

“Mas mabuti pa, mauna na lang kayo. I’ll wait for Minhyuk here.”
“It’s dark, Soyi. Delikado na magisa ka lang dito. I’ll just wait too.”, sabi ko dito.

Pinasakay ko muna si Soyi sa kotse. But I didn’t realize how awkward would that be.
Nakita ko namang napapangiti si Soyi.

“What??”, tanong ko dito.
“Sorry. I just can’t help it.”, pagtatawa pa niya.
“Ang alin? What’s funny??”
“Shh! It’s just that…I didn’t imagine you as a dad.”

Bakit naman? Although I was a jerk before, it doesn’t mean I’m not capable of handling a child.

“Ahh…well I was surprised too. It’s harder than I thought it would be.”, sagot ko na lang.
“I think you did a good job.”

She smiled at me and I tried hard not to be flattered. Umiwas na lang ako ng tingin.

“Becca…. saved me. I’d do anything for that kid.”

All of a sudden, I wanted to open up. I didn’t care if she might feel weird about this but, I wanted her to at least know that I’m fine now. That my world didn’t stop when she left.

She didn’t respond but she looked like she was ready to listen. Kaya nagtuloy na lang ako.

“When I found out that Sabrina was pregnant with her, I honestly didn’t care. I mean, it’s not mine. And I just met Sab again after the longest time. I was just supposed to help her pay the bills in the hospital, pero nung nakita ko na si Becca….when I heard her cry, my conscience didn’t let me leave her be.”

Napabuntong hininga ako thinking about those times. It was frightening but, my heart hasn’t been that calm after Athena left.

“I told myself, I may be feeling lost at that time…but that kid, who just got her life…she deserves to live. At dun ko pinasya na I was going to help her. I wasn’t going to let her experience the same thing that I did. The funny thing was, I thought I was saving her….but in all honesty, she saved me.”

I saw Soyi wiping something on her eyes. Is she tearing up??

“Are you…crying??”, maingat kong tanong dito.
“Huh? Haha yeah, sorry…I’m just happy for you.”

I just smiled half-heartedly.

“I have to thank this kid then. She made it all better for you.”, nakatungong sabi ni Soyi.

I didn’t know what to say. Ano? Ito na ba yun? Are we going to have The Talk???
I was so nervous and agitated at the same time. I just can’t believe I’m calm right now.

“Theo, can I ask you something?”, tanong niya.
“Ano yun?”

She was not looking at me. She’s obviously avoiding my stare.

“Do you really…regret everything?”

I remembered what I told her last time sa WAR. I was serious then. I didn’t know she was thinking about it.

“So what if I do? If you think about it, if I didn’t ask you to marry me back then…I wouldn’t be miserable…before.”

I tried hard not to show how I hated her for what she did. I wanted to make her feel that it wasn’t easy for me but at the same time, ayokong sabihin sa kanya ng diretsahan. I’m afraid she would take it to heart.

She started tearing up again. Ugh why does she have to be like that???

“Soyi…about what happened last time. About Ms. Hipolito…I…I was just overwhelmed then…I didn’t mean to let it all out to you.”
“No. The fault is mine, Theo. You had the every right to get mad.”

She looked at me, pulang pula pa din ang mata.

“I wish…I wish I could have explained earlier. But I know, none of that matters anymore. I just want you to be happy. You deserve so much better.”

I admit it was flattering…but, I was kind of disappointed about what she said. None of that matters?? This may sound stupid, but if I have to be honest with myself, no matter how late it is…I wanted an explanation. I deserved more than just being forgotten.
Pero di ko pinakita na I was not okay.. I tried to be casual about it.

“I’m sorry, Theo. I think…it just wasn’t meant to be.”, dagdag pa niya.

Hindi meant to be? Yun lang yun? All those years that I suffered for thinking why, to why she left without saying anything…kasi di lang meant to be???

I didn’t want to ruin the mood so I just kept all my bitter thoughts inside. Besides, finally….she said she was sorry. To me…if only I could tell her how long I waited for that. To how I wanted to just forgive her and start over. But yes, I wasn’t a saint. My pride won’t let me forget all the hurt. I deserve more than just a sorry.

“Yeah. If we were, we’d be happily married by now.”

She looked a little guilty again.

“Kung pinilit natin noon, I think we’d separate eventually.”, sabi niya.

I looked at her smile faintly. If I were to guess what she feels, it wasn’t a sign of relief. It was more like she knew it was inevitable. And I guess she’s right.

“Don’t worry. I’m not forcing anyone to marry me right now. I don’t think I’ll ever again.”, pagbibiro ko na lang.
“Why not??”, tanong niya.
“Well, I can’t put myself in that situation again. Baka di ko na kayanin kung sakaling magiba ulit isip niya.”

Yeah, I wanted her to feel a little more guilty. At least, maparamdam ko man lang in a subtle way that I wasn’t okay about it. (Although I’m playing it cool)

“You? You have plans trying again?”, tanong ko na lang.
“No. I don’t think so….ewan ko.”

She really is indecisive.
Nung nakita na namin na naglalakad pabalik yung unggoy, Soyi went out of the car.

“Uhm, thanks Theo…”

She was going to her car nung tinawag ko ulit siya.

“Soyi!”

She looked back.

“Just try not to confuse the guy next time.”

Naguluhan naman siya.

“Well, don’t say you love him then leave him for good. That’s just plain hypocrisy.”

I smiled and closed down my window. Okay, forget about being casual. I had to at least do that para naman gumaan loob ko. It took me 7 years to be relieved (a bit) about our past. I can’t give her just a few minutes to think it’s all good. That’s just unfair.