After Death e.g.d

Fazed

Ethan's POV
I storm out of the school. Blood dripping from my knuckles. Rage, guilt and sadness fumed inside me making me loose control over myself

I saw Cloe walk in. It just set me off more. She was wearing glasses today and I could hear my heart shatter

I just miss her so much

Everything inside me aches for her

He laugh. Her care. Her voice.

Why did she have to leave me.

I felt water flooding my eyes. I hear Grayson call me from behind and I stop.

"Ethan, what the hell. You said you were fukin over her." He says to me

I loose it

"ARE YOU OVER HER? DO U NOT WANT TO PUNCH EVERYONE THAT TREATED HER LIKE SHIT. DO YOU NOT BREAK EVERYTIME SOMEONE SAYS HER NAME?!" I yell at him not caring about the waterfall of tears on my face

He stayed silent.

I turn around and he starts to speak again.

"Where the fuck are you going now" he says disappointed

"Home." I say pulling out a cigarette from my back pocket. I light it and get onto my motercycle.

I drove to my house and stormed inside. I look and see all my trophies and medals. Pictures of mine and Grayson's friends. A class photo of 2013.

I stood at the back while she was in front of me. Other girls tried showing off their boobs or asses but she wore a light blue long sleeve dress. Plain and floaty. Her hair in pig tails and her glasses placed on her face. The colour of her braces matching her hair ties.

I remember that day

*Flashback 2013*

"Okay class so arrange yourself from tallest to shortest." Mrs Brunette said.

I look over to Y/n as she heads over to the short side of the line awkwardly.

She looked gorgeous today. Grayson patted my shoulder knowing what I was thinking.

"Hey loser, I was wondering do you try to look so hideous or does it just come naturally? Maybe you could give me some tips on my Halloween costume" Mackenzie say to Y/n

She stayed silent putting her head down.

Mackenzie kept poking her.

"Cut it off" I warned her giving her and intimidating look

She just laughed and said fine before walking away.

I look down at Y/n and see her head still down. A single tear falls from her face.

"Are you okay" I gently whisper to her

She just nods her head up and down and looked into my eyes for a second.

Even though she didn't say it I could see it sparkling in her eyes.

She said thank you.

That was the minute I realized I was truly in love with this broken girl.

*Now*

Ethan's POV

I grab the picture and throw it across the room. I start pulling down shelves and ripping posters off the wall. No one was home except me and a deafening silence

I went to the bathroom that was connected to my room. I opened one of the cabinets and shuffled around the items. I found Graysons blue razor.

I find myself taking it apart for only the blade. I promised myself never again but what do I have to live for.

I place the blade on my leg and slice threw the skin horizontally. I did it twice more. And then another time.

My calve was bleeding massively. I put it under water and run the water in the tub

I put my fist in my mouth biting down to stop myself from screaming in pain.

I call some people i know and get delivery service.

"Yeah 3. And how much will that be?" I ask him

"600 for the night" he says

"Great. When?" I asked

"An hour or so."

I chuckled to myself and cut the phone.

I got out my stash of liquor,drugs and vape.

She would hate who you've become.

She would look at you and see a stranger

I pushed the thoughts to the back of my head as I took some swigs from my bottle.

"Wanna come over" I asked Jackson

"What's there" he asked

"Drugs, booze and bitches. Just you though" I said

"Ight I'll be there in a bit" he said before hanging up

I opened a bag with a needle, a syringe, and a bottle of a liquid.

I connected the needle and syringe to one another and stuck the needle in the liquid.

I pull it out and looked for a vain. I feel one and stick the needle in. I inject the heroine into my bloodstream feeling my brain get mushy.

I rubbed some cocaine into my gums before I got a call.

"I'm here. Open the door. There's chicks waiting here too" Jackson said over the phone

"The doors open. Just come to my room and bring them too.

I cut the phone and heard my bedroom door open. I turned my head to see Jackson smirking

"Ethan Dolan is back"