After Death e.g.d

Weak

I woke up in a bright white room with a window flooding in light. A faint beeping sound to the right of me. I'm in the hospital.

My dads were by my side almost all of the time during the week. Surprisingly Grayson came to visit. I didn't think he would after the last conversation we had. Ethan never showed up. I asked Grayson but he just changed the subject. Even Damien showed up with some flowers and we sat on my bed watching family guy all day.

It was comforting but I needed to see the person who saved me. I need to see Ethan. My arm was stitched up and I was allowed to go home today.

"You ready sport?" Max asks me.

"As ready as I'll ever be" I say climbing into the passenger seat.

Andy was in Colorado for a business trip. He had begged his boss to let him stay but they made him work. Plus we needed the money.

We drive in a comfortable silence till we reach home. Max helps me up to my room even though I didn't need it

"Max seriously I'm fine. Go to work or out with some friends. You've been so worried about me, you guys haven't had time to yourselves." I say to him laughing as he runs around grabbing me extra pillows and blankets.

He sighs

"Of course I was going to be worried. My daughter could've died. Honey I wouldn't know what to do without you. I don't think I should leave you alone just yet" he says sitting down next to me

"Please, go have fun imma stay here and watch my Netflix" I say showing him my lap top

I feel so bad that they had to take care of me for so long. I probably worried them so much.

"I don't know.." he says hesitating.

"Don't worry about me" I say to him again

"Fine but I'll only be gone for a few hours" he says getting up

"Bye dad" I say

He smiles knowing this was the first time I actually called him dad.

I always thought of them as my dads. I always treated them like my dads. But I have never said the word before today.

"Bye sweetheart" he says before leaving me in a room filled with silence.

I get up and head towards my bathroom. I take off my shirt slowly and look at my arm.

It is bandaged and padded up. I look at my other arm and see multiple self harm scars and scars from other not so fun events.

I see the faded word "weak" on my arm and I think back to that day.

Flashback

My phone has been buzzing for the past three hours.

"Loser"

"Just fuckin kill yourself already"

"Die you weak, pathetic bitch"

"Nerd"

"Lame ass bitch lmao "

I keep crying. Loud sobs leave my mouth. I don't give a fuck honestly since my mom is out on another date.

"Why me" I whisper to myself

I go to the kitchen and grab a sharp knife. I run back upstairs and lock my bedroom door.

I sit on the ground in front of my bedroom window. The lights off and the moon reflecting a blue light onto my purple carpet.

I lift the knife and my hands are shaking. I push the point of it into my arm. I carve the word weak to remind myself that this is what I was. This is what I am and nothing more.

I curled into a ball and cried myself to sleep. Sadness takes over my body and I feel numb. I'm tired of feeling shitty. I just want it to be over.

*Now*

I change into a black sports bra and some red shorts. I go on my phone and see a text

Ethan Dolan: Are you home alone?

Me: Yea, y?

seen

He doesn't respond so I ignore it. I start to watch "The Vampire Diaries" and fangirl over Damon and Elena.

I hear a knock on the door downstairs. I check the time and see that it's 11. Maybe Max forgot his key and it's him but I can never be to careful.

I quickly and quietly go to the door and look through the peep hole. I see Ethan standing there

I open it right away and he storms in.

"E what's up?" I say to him shutting the door and going over to him now in the living room

He stays quiet

"Ethan I can't help if I don't know what's wrong" I say sitting down next to him and rubbing his shoulder

"I'm sorry" he says looking me in the eyes

"Ethan what are you-"

"I should've been there Cloe. I should've been there when Mackenzie hurt you. I should've stopped her" he says to me with tears in his eyes.

"It's not your fault Ethan" I say to him again touching his thigh.

(A/n: Slight makeout smut stuff)

He looks at me up and down and licks his lips. His hand creeps around my waist.

His lips hover over my face and his breath hitches. He looks back into my eyes. His dark with lust and desire.

He smashes his lips onto mine and we start to make out. My hand grips his face and pull him closer to me. His hands grab onto my thighs and he breaks the kiss. His lips slowly move down to my jawline and then lower. He starts to bite and suck on my neck, leaving marks.

"ah Ethan." I quietly moan

"Just like that baby girl" he says against my neck making me shiver.

He pulls me onto his lap and I take off his shirt. I begin to grind on his lap making him throw his head back and moan. I took the opportunity to start to leave love marks on his neck.

He starts to take off my bra, careful of my arm. He suddenly stops and he grabs my left arm. He traces the word weak.

"Flashback"

Ethan's POV

I see her grabbing stuff from her locker. Her hair in a braid, falling down her back. Her glasses pushed up and her eyes full of concentration as she tries to look for her history book.

A book falls out of her hands and onto the floor. I rush to pick it up for her. I lean down and pick it up for her before she can get it for herself.

"Here" I say handing it to her

"Th-thanks" she says to me reaching for the book with her arm

I see the word weak in red letters, carved into her skin.

She turns away to leave but I stop her.

"Stay strong" I say to her

She looks at me in confusion but nods and starts to walk away.

I know that this girl is anything but weak.