boundaries [s.m]

chapter twenty-two

My minds still wrapped around you - Shawn Mendes, when you're ready
-
shawn strummed against his guitar, the sun setting in the west, removing all the white light from the sky, and casting it into an orange eclipse, one with darkness, yet a blazing fire in certain spots, illuminating the true beauty of nature. the rain settled over the scenery too. he sighed, looking out of the window, the smooth ambience hitting his face, the heat comforting to his cold emotions.

it's been two weeks since aria rejected him, and went away, without a word.

today was supposed to be the day of her prom. he was supposed to pick her up at 5, and then they would go for dinner, before heading into her prom, and having a great night together. he bought a matching suit to her dress, which she picked out six months prior to the event, and he had his ticket ready, the one she bought him five months ago, as soon as the tickets went on sale. his suit was completely black, but had a red tie, matching her red dress.

he wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms, and spend the night with her.

he rose from the couch, going into the kitchen to make himself a shot of expresso. it had just gone 8, 8pm that was, and shawn knew he would be awake the entire night because of the coffee shot, but still took it. the caffeine was like a drug that numbed him. he couldn't really explain his heartbreak. it was strange, it was peculiar, it was odd. it didn't feel like heartbreak, it simply felt like he didn't have a heart.

and it was all his fault.

he cursed himself for it every single day. if he didn't say a word, he could've been at prom with aria, having a good time with her, and then perhaps taking her home for a little more love. he was, still is, obsessed with her.

"hey mum," shawn says into his phone, sitting at the bar table, sipping on his shot of coffee. "how are you?"

"i'm good, how are you, shawn?" she asks gently. "do you want me to come over with some food?"

"no ma, it's okay, i made chicken and rice for dinner," he says with a light chuckle. "can i come home tomorrow?"

"of course you can sweetie," she says. "so, tonight? how are you feeling shawn? and tell the truth."

"i don't know," he mumbles, feeling the tears building up at his eyes. "i miss her so much, i made the worse mistake of my life, mum. she was the one, dad was right."

"has she contacted you since?" she asks him carefully.

"no," he whispers. "god, there's no one in the world like her. she's incredible, but i let her go."

"you were scared, shawn."

"i was selfish," he says, frowning deeply. "i just- i don't know-" he gets cut off by a buzz at his door, and he looks back in confusion. "mum, i'm gonna need to call you back, someone's at my door."

"alright, and honey, please try to be happy? for me?"

"of course mum, i love you," he says gently, wiping his eyes. "i'll come by tomorrow."

"okay, i love you more," she says warmly. "get some good sleep shawn, you need it. have some of that tea i bought you."

"okay mum, goodnight," he lies, hanging up, and placing his phone down onto the island. he sighs gently, strolling over to the door, pulling his hoodie closer to him. he tugs open the door, revealing his neighbour, who he doesn't often see.

"hey dude, a girl came by and left this for you, but since you weren't in, she gave it to me to give you," jake tells him. "have a good evening."

"thanks bud, you too," shawn says, taking the parcel. "do you know who it's from?"

"nah, she just left it with me and walked away," he says. "sorry man."

"don't worry, thank you again," shawn responds, shutting his front door, and looking down at the parcel in his hands. he furrows his eyebrows in confusion, before placing it down on the dining table, and opening it up.

he's faced with nostalgia.

first was a photo of him and aria from japan, one in the arena, both of them sitting on the edge of the stage, each with a bottle of water, talking to each other. aria had mentioned to shawn that it was one of her favourite photos of the two of them; it simply explained them both. she loved it.

then, he took out his black givenchy hoodie, which aria had stolen a few months ago, saying she was just 'cold'. shawn lets out a small chuckle, bringing it up to his face, and smelling the sweet scent of her perfume lingering on the fabric.

the last thing in the package was a letter, handwritten by aria; he could recognise her handwriting. his heart races, seeing his name written on the front in cursive, making it look so much more neater and more put together than his letter.

my dearest shawn,
i'd like to say a thank you for a tickets, the necklace, and the letter you wrote for me on my birthday. i didn't exactly know how to respond, so i hope writing a letter back is okay.
when i overheard your conversation with andrew, i can't deny that i felt betrayed. i felt as though all the bittersweet promises you made to me were just that, bittersweet. i thought that you didn't love me as much as i love you. i thought that you hated me. i thought that you didn't love me for my age.
you told me that age was just a number, and it is. it doesn't define you, so why let it define us? i couldn't care if people think we're not right for each other because i'm younger than you, but do you know what? i'm 18 now. i'm legal. our age gap is basically nothing, and shawn, i love you. if two people are meant to be with each other, they should. they shouldn't let anyone stop them, but i guess we did.
thank you so much for showing me how to love, shawn, because that truly is a gift i could never repay you for. you made me understand love, you made me understand and know how to love. i fell in love with you, and honestly, i think i'm still falling. i thought you were the one too, but everything happens for a reason, shawn. and you can't stop what's written in the stars.
i'll be in the café down from your place on friday, at 9am. if you're not scared, and you want to talk as much as i do, please come and meet me. i don't want this to be the end of our story. i love you.
also, i didn't go to prom. i didn't want to go without you.
with all my love,
aria x