Unthinkable (BWWM)

Chapter 13: When Change Comes.

"Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans."

- Allen Saunders

Naomi.

"Where have you been? Your family have been looking for you!" I turn around startled to see who could be speaking.

"Nkomo... " I breathed slowly in relief, walking up to her. "Why am I being searched for?"

"Well, you are about to be a wife soon, everyone prefers to know where you go," she explains to me as she carefully studies my reaction. "Especially your husband," she adds.

"Oh, well I was just around, trying to clear my head," I reply to my curious best friend maintaining eye contact with her. I have just arrived from the Kustawi garden with a gloomy attitude, for he did not show like he used to. I waited for him at the waterfalls and he hadn't shown there neither, but I stayed. The sun had set while the darkness crept in the lands and that led me to give up any hope I had for the day and start my way back to the village. Now here stands my best friend giving me a suspicious look, due to finding me randomly strolling in the village during dark hours and without keeping in touch with her during the day as I usually do. I do not blame her, I would have questioned her if this situation was the other way around.

"So, will you keep this funny behavior to yourself, or do I have to question it out of you?" I look away from her, trying to decide my next response. "Naomi... " she calls.

"Nkomo, what is it that you would like to know?" I looked at her sternly. Taken aback, she dramatically bulges her eyes out, shocked by my sudden response and looks all around her to see if anyone has heard me.

"Well... " She begins, "Are you trying to run away because you will be married soon?" I have been emotionally drunken on the invader and my irrational, irregular feelings backfiring with my mind, that I have not taken the time to acknowledge my people's perception of my ongoing, secretive disappearing. Of course they have noticed, and of course they are asking and talking. It's only because Nkomo knows me very well that she is capable of asking truthfully and straightforward. I felt a mixture of shame and pity for both my actions and the secrets I have been keeping towards my best friend. I have always told her everything that happens to me but not this time around.

I explained to her of the reoccurring dreams or should I say nightmares, I have recently had of Tafari and how troubled I am of the wedding and events leading up to it. I completely spoke with my best friend just like I used to and told her every event that has happened to me. Everything, but the events I have had with the invader. I tried to mention about him because I would like her advice on what I should do about how I feel, especially since he hadn't shown today, but I couldn't bring myself to. Shame and pity would resurface once again and I would feel the betrayal that I have caused towards the relationships I possess with my people and my best friend, to linger around me.

It's either I keep the bond with him and live a life filled with secrets, or abandon it and live a life filled truth with my tribe just like it was before I met with him. He's controlling me, yet he's miles away from me.

Charles

I stared silently down at my boots as I sat on the side of my bed, taking my time dressing for the day, contemplating these past days of my life. Naturally I am one to be calm but as of this moment I feel beyond overwhelmed at everything that has happened in my life. My brother, my family, my fellow people, the invasions, and her. I lifted my left leg, inserting it into my left boot swiftly then did the same with my right leg.