Unthinkable (BWWM)

Chapter 11: Pure Love's Motive. (Part I)

Naomi

"I cannot wait for our wedding, Naomi. I feel blessed that you will be mine." I looked back to him forcing a smile on my face. I couldn't help but feel a bit of discomfort hearing him speak like this towards me - speaking in an intimate way. "But... " He began. "You are not mine, are you?"

"Tafari, what are you talking about?" I asked Tafari, feeling anger slowly starting to rise in me.

"You are not mine, I can tell." He cupped my face as he looked at my lips. "I can tell you want to belong to someone else." I bit my bottom lip, uncomfortable for the words he was saying, it's as if he could read me. He took a deep breath and faced the sunset's direction as he held me, I turned to face the sun as well in confusion and completely stunned at his strange behavior. We were now standing side by side holding each other as we watched the sun.

"Tafari?" I called to him.

"Hmm?" He replies, his attention still focused on the sun.

"What do you mean by saying that?"

"I mean that, I can feel it in my bones that you are not mine." He spoke with a stern expression as he stared at the sun, more like glaring at it. I stared at his face, trying to contemplate the unfamiliar facial expression that was painted on his face, a mixture of anger and insanity. I gulped as I tore my eyes from his face and returned my gaze to the sun. The silence that was already in the midst was frightening enough, I decided to make my way back to the village but a sharp pain on my shoulder stopped me, I looked to see Tafari's grip was the cause. I looked to him as he still had his strange expression.

"Tafari, I have to go."

"To him?" He slowly turned his head and stared down at me. My heart began beating uncomfortably as he raised his eyebrow. "You didn't think I would find out?" I couldn't speak, let alone move. I couldn't do anything to answer him but stare at him in disbelief both terrified and embarrassed for the feelings I have been having. His eyes were changing from his original dark brown colors to a demonic red filled with fury, a familiar memory flashed in my mind. A memory where I have seen his eyes like this, his hand that handled a stone that I had not seen him grab a hold of, moved in my direction. I closed my eyes forcefully and waited for the hit, but all I got were a fluffy pillow and hair slightly tickling my ears.

I opened my eyes to find my body sunk in the bed. I absentmindedly blinked twice as I stared at the ceiling, controlling my breathing pace that was once fast. I shifted my head to my left to find an empty space of where my sister would sleep.

"It was just a dream." I closed my eyes saying out loud to myself as I got up from the bed, going to a regular empty morning kitchen to grab a bucket and made my way to the barrels outside to get water for my bath. I could feel how damp my whole body was from the intense dream I just had, or should I say nightmare. What does this mean for Tafari? Does he know of what I did? Does he know that my feelings are for someone else? Someone very different from me? Just when I thought I could enjoy my little moment of genuine happiness, I get nothing but feelings of guilt, embarrassment and shame. I pressed my lips firmly together as I looked up at the blue sky that was filled with bits of clouds and dropped my bucket inside one of our enormous barrels, waiting for the water to fill up in the bucket. I picked up the bucket and set it down next to my feet.

"You look sick and maybe tiresome." A natural smile slowly formed on my face from hearing the familiar voice behind me.

"Good morning, father." I said as I let go of the bucket handle and went to my father's embrace.