I'll Never Give Up Ace

10: Decisions

I decided that today I would try to sort out all these puzzle pieces that were my feelings. I know its completely insane that I can even question being with Logan. He's amazing, and everything always seems to point back to him. But something I didn't realize is that whats right in front of you isn't always whats right. Maybe we are meant to work harder for those who we really belong with.

I'm not saying I don't love Logan, I do. Its just lately I've been feeling like somethings missing. Its not right to be with Logan if I'm having these thoughts. First on my agenda was talking to my mom. I know I have to sort out these thoughts for myself, but she can give me a different perspective.

I was meeting her in the gazebo in the middle of town. Of course I was early with coffee, cause nothing can happen when the Gilmore women don't have their caffeine.

"Hey kid, why so glum?" She said as she sat herself next to me.

"I'm having a little trouble in the love department." I said blankly.

"Oh boy, I remember when the easiest of our problems was how we were gonna chose a college for you. Or whether to go decaf or not." I laughed at her humor.

"Yeah um. Decaf is not for us mom. Im serious though. I love Logan, but-." She cut me off.

"You don't feel complete, you caught yourself with feelings for someone unexpected." I felt tears threaten to escape my eyes, she was right. Lorelai Gilmore was rarely wrong if you think about it. "Its okay Rory, its normal. But you really need to think all this through. Is this person worth ending things with Logan?"

"I just feel like after the almost engagement, we never really truly went back to where we were. I have this feeling we never will." I said admitting to myself, more than her. I realized I need to talk to Logan.

I thanked my mom for helping me even though she just reaffirmed what I already knew. Logan was waiting for me back at the apartment.

"Rory, can we talk about something?" I knew ultimately this would happen. He deserves the truth.  I sat down at the edge of the bed next to him. "Whats going on with us?"

"Logan, does everything feel right to you?" I asked as he gave me a confused look.

"I know I love you, but I can sense that were both forcing this relationship to go back to what it was. Sadly its not though."

"I love you too." I said as my head hung low, avoiding his eyes.

"Hey, look at me. Why don't we just pause this conversation for right now. We can order in and just relax."

"Logan we need to talk this out though."

"Yeah I know, but we don't need to figure it all out right now." He said kissing my forehead. Logan was either avoiding a hard conversation or just genuinely trying to have ease into admitting where the relationship was headed. Either way, I was thankful. I needed one more night to enjoy Logan being next to me.

Memories flashed back into my head of the day we meet, him and his buddies were trying to find some girl. He left his number on my door. I didn't realize that from that moment he would become such a big part of my life. Everyone that comes into your life, or leaves it makes an impact.

Logan would always be someone who took me out of my comfort zone, and helped me through one of the lowest lows of my life. We grew a lot together, because of each other. That doesn't mean that he's the only one out their for me. Both of us have more to learn and see and together that might not happen.

"Logan, do you promise that no matter what happens we'll always be friends?"

"Rory. You mean so much to me, you don't even have an idea. But I learned something valuable from you. I love you so much, that I know we both have the potential to be happy with other people. Our love doesn't just have to be as a couple. I'll always look back at our time together, and not regret a thing. " I smiled up at him.

"Logan you truly are something else."

The rest of the night was spent just being with each other, laughing and reminiscing. I know that even if our relationship romantically ends, he'll always be someone I can count on.

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Thanks,
Julia