Locked in Love

After Math

Eli's Journal:

            I am writing this journal to keep track of  Avery's behavior over the next few months. Ever since Colton's death, she hasn't been the same. She's taking this harder than I am and he was my brother. I made Colton a promise and that promise was to keep the love of his life safe. I fully intend on doing it. Rest in peace, Colton Evans. I love and miss you so much, brother.

      June 2: Coltons's funeral was today. Avery could barely stand it. From the moment she woke up today, she was in tears. It took me hours to get her dressed. She didn't want to get out of the car. Her father could barely hold her up during the ceremony. It hurt so bad to see her like that. When she saw his casket, everything inside of her clenched. I felt her pain. It was my brother laying up there. I missed him, I'm going to miss fighting with him every day, I'm going to miss competing with him over girls all the time. Sharing music, clothes, everything. I will make Avery better though.

      June 18: Things aren't looking up. Avery is getting worse and worse as the days past. I never wanted to see her this way again. After her brother died, she was the worst I've ever seen her. She cried for days, weeks, months. And there was nothing Colton or I could do. All I wanted was for her to be happy. Sometimes I wish Colton would have told her, but I understood where he was coming from. I wouldn't have told her either.

    June 19: I left her alone for the first time today. It took an hour and a half to finally get her to calm down enough for me to leave the house. I had to call her every thirty minutes and had to be home before 4:30. When I walked in the door, she leaped off the couch and into my arms. "I thought you were never coming back!" She wealed into my ear as she wrapped her arms tightly around my neck. I rocked her gently and put her to bed.

      June 20: I think she's even worse. Now she won't even talk. She hasn't showered in two days. I can barely get her to eat anything. Levi stopped by the house after I got home. I still couldn't believe we had forgiven him. But Avery insisted. "Colton told me in his room, "Don't give him too much grief. And he was in the waiting room after he died, he smiled at me and said "Don't give him too much grief. He really is a good guy, Avery." and since then, Avery has wanted him around. I don't think she's fully forgiven him though.

         June 25: She's tiny now. She only eats one meal a day, if I'm lucky. I want to call her mom, but she won't let me. I want to call Isabella, but begged me not to.  I don't know what to do anymore. I need to find professional help for her, but I'm afraid if I do, she'll never forgive me. I just want to make her feel better again.

         June 27:  I finally got Avery to leave the house. The only place I was able to get her to go to was Colton's grave. She made me stop and buy a dozen roses. She asked me to stay in the car when we got there. Even though she hadn't been to his grave, she knew exactly where to go. From where I sat, I saw her talking to him. She missed him. She cried and wiped them away. I saw her smile a few times. I hadn't seen her smile in God only knows how long. I think coming out to his grave made her feel a little better.

           July 4: There were no fireworks here. There were no cookouts. In this house, there was nothing to be proud. No party would be the same without the smiling Avery and the awesome cook and DJ, Colton. Avery, Levi, and I sat around on the couch watching old love story movies. Avery cried her eyes out through all of them. "Why can't I have that?" She'd cry out at every love scene.

          July 18: She seems to have sunkin back in the deep, dark stages of depression. She hasn't gotten out of bed in two weeks. Barely eaten anything. I'm starting to get really worried. I really thought she was getting better. Then it all collasped. I can't take much more, but I promised Colton I would take care of her and if I stayed true to anything for him, it would be taking care of Avery.

            August 3: She's eating again. She's showering again. She's actually taking care of herself again. She left the house with me today. Not to Colton's grave, but she wanted to go shopping. I let her shop as much as she wanted and then she wanted me to take her out to Mexican and ice cream. I did it all for her today. I was just really happy to see her up and out again. She wasn't smiling again yet, but it was a start and I really wanted to know what it was about.

            August 31: I finally found out what it was that made Avery change her ways. God. I love my brother.

           September 1: There is no need in the journal anymore at the moment.

            September 3: Avery finally smiled. This was something that needed to be documented. After months of no emotion, her cheerful smile has come back to me. I thank my brother for this. He still loves her.

          September 6: I'm closing this journal now. Avery will be okay. Thanks, Colt.