I started to feel repulsed when I was near Michael. That was probably why I was stabbing the hell out of my chips sitting in the restaurant. We had been specifically sat next to each other considering everyone thought we were okay now.
In reality, he was ignoring me and I was pretending my chip was him and I could stab him multiple times with a sharp, pointy fork.
“We have to leave pretty early tomorrow guys.” It was the first time I had concentrated on the conversation going on around me rather than my food. There were a few questioning looks directed at Michael and Ashton asked why.
“I’m meeting Georgina.” He said it so simply, making it so much more annoying. I could feel a few of the people around the table looking between us as I glared at Michael, my grip on my fork becoming quite dangerous.
“But you and Natalie…” Calum started but I didn’t let him continue.
“There is no me and him. There never will be and never really was. Anything that did happen between us, well, I’ve never regretted anything more. It disgusts me to think that I even hugged such a fucking wanker. Stop sitting me near him and trying to make us all nice to each other because I swear, if I have to be near this piece of shit again I will stab him with anything in close proximity and I will make sure it hurts like hell.” I was shouting and attracting a few other people that were sitting peacefully. I threw my fork on the table in anger and stood up to leave.
I could hear the rushed whispers from behind and around me as I made my way to the stairs ready to climb my way to the room I was sharing with the girls, hoping the exercise would burn out some of the anger.
I didn’t hear following me until I was on the second set of stairs. Thinking it might be Michael ready to argue, I quickened my pace. I wasn’t fast enough though and on the last set I was stopped by a large hand and turned around.
“What the hell happened?” I couldn’t hold anything anymore and I collapsed right there on the stairs. Luke was immediate in putting his arm around me and letting me cry into his side. He patted my back awkwardly, making small shh sounds.
“You gonna talk to me?” I tried to slow my crying a little and pulled away from Luke’s side. His arm stayed around me though as I started speaking.
“I was annoyed at Michael, so annoyed, and you know there never was much reason for me to be because it wasn’t like Michael was mine. Thing is, I hated him for what he did with my boss! I hated how he compared me to her and it really fucking hurt me. Worst thing is, I have,”
Luke was staring at me, expectantly. “I’m in love with him Luke! I love his snarky attitude and the back and forth stuff we have. I love how I feel when he’s hugging me or lying on me and I couldn’t think of anything better than waking up to him. He pisses me off to no end but, as horribly cheesy as it sounds, I wouldn’t change him for the world. He’s like a big teddy bear and I tell you what, I am so glad he came toward me that night in the bar with that damned cigarette because he’s changed my fucking life, Luke. I don’t know what to do.”
Luke nodded along, as if he expected that from me before speaking. “So be with him, he obviously regrets it,”
“Yeah, obviously. Considering he fucked me this morning and now he wants to make things official with that bitch!”
“He did wha-?” His mouth was hanging open, shocked by something that was probably going to happen again soon. I shrugged at him, his scrutinizing stare making me shuffle slightly on the uncomfortable hotel stair.
“I love him, Luke and it’s one of those stupid movies where the girl is scared of getting hurt. I really am though; he has already too many times.”
Luke stood and pulled me up, walking the last few steps to our floor.
“You’re going to go into your room and calm down. We’ll see how things go tomorrow, yeah?”
I nodded, silent again as I followed him. I couldn’t believe I had just admitted that, to Michael’s best friend out of anyone I could have talked to! I mentally slapped myself, lost in my own little world of what the fuck did I just do and not noticing that Luke needed my key.
He had to shake me to bring me back to present time and search for the key in my pocket.
“Fuck my life!” I groaned as I frantically searched the pockets in my jacket, hoping I really didn’t leave my key downstairs.
“It’s downstairs isn’t it? I’ll go get it.” Luke sighed at me so I grinned at him, feeling bad about the inconvenience.
I sat by my door, leant my head on the wall and closed my eyes to wait. I couldn’t travel home with Michael tomorrow. I’d get a train instead. It wasn’t long after I decided that, that I heard footsteps coming down the hall. Expecting Luke, I opened my eyes and smiled at the approaching figure.
I didn’t see any tall lanky blonde boy walking down the hall though, rather someone with dark hair who was the last person I wanted to see right now.
“Clifford.”
“Babe.”
“What do you want?”
“You,” I laughed. I couldn’t help it. I was in tears in a matter of seconds, holding my stomach and leaning over to stop it hurting so much. “What’s so funny?”
“You…I… You want another…” I found it hard to speak through my laughs. “You think I still want you?”
“Natalie, I know you do. You always have and there’s no one but you that I want.” He was standing right above me as he spoke. I heard Luke coming back, with Natalie and Rosie in tow but I don’t think Michael did because he did nothing to show that he had. I held my hand up slightly to keep them back.
“So what the fuck was Georgina?”
“A mistake?” The way he questions his answer just made my anger boil more and I could barely control it.
“This isn’t a stupid chick flick movie, Clifford!”
“Who said I wanted that?” I pushed myself up using the wall, coming right close to Michael.
“I don’t want whatever the fuck this is, I don’t want to be with you and have to deal with all this messed up shit!” The girls and Luke had come closer to us and I gestured for them to open the door. They all piled in, opening the door for me. I turned to walk away from Michael the final time.
“You’re the only girl I want, Natalie.” I could hear sadness in his voice. I didn’t believe it but even if it was true, I knew whatever was going on in the mess of my head and heart right then was way worse.
Yet more tears were falling as I walked into my room. I turned to look at him one more time.
“Drop dead, Mikey.”
And I closed the door on his face.
~
and that's it. done. completo. finisha. (these aren't languages haha i'm a loser)
YOU ARE READING
that damned cigarette ↪ m.c
Fanfiction"This isn't a stupid chick flick movie, Clifford!" "Who said I wanted that?" Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl. She was beautiful and he was handsome. He saved her and she made him realise his wrongs. But what if there wasn't a happy e...
