Between Us [Spaces Sequel]

t h i r t y - o n e

Trigger warning: The following chapter contains mentions of self-harm and sexual abuse. Reader discretion is advised.

You knock on wood every time you make plans. You cross your fingers, hold your breath, wish on lucky numbers and eyelashes. Your superstitions were the lone survivors of the shipwreck. Rest in Peace, to your naive bravado... If life gets too good now, darling, it scares you.
- from Taylor Swift's poem 'If You're Anything Like Me'
_____________________________

Impatiently, I was waiting inside of the airport for the boys to arrive. I just couldn't wait to see Harry again. I hadn't told him about my mother yet, but I didn't want to keep any secrets from him. I would tell him as soon as possible. Through the speakers, they announced that Harry's plane had landed. My heart started racing like crazy when I thought of him. I looked down at my phone, seeing that Harry had sent me a message.

Harry 💛
Just landed. Can't wait to
see you, love.

I smiled at my phone, before looking around for him. After a few minutes, I saw him from further away. He was with Niall, Liam and Louis and he was looking around just like me. When his eyes finally landed on me, a smile grew onto his face immediately. He dropped his back and started running towards me, as I did the same. As we collided, he pulled me into the tightest hug. I took in his smell and smiled into the embrace. He had been on tour for so long and I couldn't wait to spend time with him.
"I missed you," he whispered into my hair, still not letting me go.
"I missed you more."
"Jeez, you have seen each other like two weeks ago," Louis said, as he walked up behind us, Harry's bag in his hand.
I giggled and let go of Harry, who gave me a quick kiss on the lips before taking my hand in his, making sure not to break contact.
"Oh, leave them alone," Liam said, nudging Louis' side, making him roll his eyes.
"So you're almost done at university?" Niall asked me.
"Yeah, finally," I sighed. "I thought I'd never say that."
"I'm proud of you," Harry said, smiling warmly down at our hands.

"You need to visit us on tour again soon," Harry said, plopping down on my bed. I smiled and sat down next to him. "I promise it won't end up like last time. I know I really fucked up."
"I'm used to fucked up, you know," I replied, before he took my hands into his, rubbing the back of my hand softly with his thumb.
"I know you are. But you deserve better than fucked up," he said, looking down at our hands. "I promise I'll be better. I love you."
"I love you more," I whispered. "I need to tell you something."
"Oh no," he said. "That never leads to a good conversation."
"Don't worry," I replied, squeezing his big hand which was still perfectly intertwined with mine. "We're fine. It's just... my mother is in town."
"Oh," was the only thing he could say.
"I met her and I shouldn't have," I said.
"Why didn't you call me?" He asked, looking at me with sad eyes.
"I wanted to tell you personally," I said. "It wasn't necessarily a nice conversation. She said she didn't have a choice, but to run from my father. But she left me behind. She never knew what he did to me. She had a choice, didn't she?"
"Scar," Harry said. "I get that you're angry, but did you ever see it from her point of view."
"I tried," I mumbled. "I really did."
"I understand that you're angry," he said. "But don't you think that she deserves a second chance?"
"A second chance? She had her chances. She could've come back for the past 19 years of my life, but she didn't. I believe in second chances, Harry, but I don't believe in third or even fourth chances. I just don't want to talk to her," I explained, trying to hold back my tears.
"I can see that it's troubling you. Talking to her was the right decision and maybe you need to do it again. Tell her how you feel and it will free you."
"I did tell her how I feel," I said, sighing loudly. "Why is my life so crappy?"
"You know, maybe you should just stop accepting crap and demand something more."
"How am I supposed to do that?" I asked him.
"Invite your mother over, maybe even your aunt. I'll be here, we'll cook and you'll have a civilized conversation," he suggested.
"I don't think that's possible for me," I sighed.
"I can see that it's bothering you, Scar. You need to let it go and you need to let it go without feeling anger or pain."
"I don't know."
What was the point of even talking to her? She wouldn't understand me and I would be angry with her. There was no way we were going to have a normal conversation without one of us blowing up.
"What you need from her is a sincere apology. You need to solve this, love. And I'll be there with you, no matter what happens. I'll even kick her out if I have to," Harry promised, making me smile a little. "Just trust me."
"Okay," I said, before kissing him softly. "Thank you."
"Anytime."