e i g h t e e n

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With my back against the door, I stood in silence just staring at my appartment. I needed to process what had happened. My father wanted to apologize, but I knew he didn't truly mean it. I stood up, something I had wanted all my life.
Now it's over. It has to be.
I took a deep breathe and wiped my tears. I still had an hour and a half left to prepare dinner for my friends and it was time to get started. What was sadness, now turned to pride. Finally, after all those years of fear, pain and anger, I had told my dad about my feelings. I didn't give him the power to hurt me. I think I might have hurt him this time.
I started cooking the lasagna, put it in the oven and started laying the table. Just then, I heard my phone ring. I smiled as I saw Harry's name on my screen. I picked it up.
"Hey," I said.
"Hey, you alright?" He asked.
"Fine."
"Are you sure? You sound like you were crying," he stated.
"I did," I didn't deny it. There was no point in denying it anyways. I knew I could tell him, I trusted him like nobody else.
"What's wrong?" He asked, his voice raised, like he was panicking.
"I met my dad. He was in front of the house," I said.
"Did he hurt you?"
"No," I replied. "I think he wanted to apologize, at least that's what he called it. I rejected him, screamed at him."
Harry gasped. "Did you actually? Are you lying? You're lying, right?"
"I'm not. I did it," I said and chuckled. "It felt pretty good."
"Just like beating him up would," Harry added, making me laugh.
"Listen, I don't want to hurt him. That's not what I want to do. He doesn't deserve to be forgiven, he doesn't deserve to suffer... physically. The circumstances made him the monster he is, so instead of beating him up, I'd like to make him suffer mentally. He needs to know what it felt like... what he did to me."
"Alright, but if he lays a hand on you once again, I can beat him up, right?"
"You may," I answered, making Harry chuckle.
"I miss you, Scar."
"I miss you, too."
"You should come to one of our concerts. Maybe Sydney next week?" He asked.
"I really don't have the money to fly to Sydney," I replied.
"I do," he said, I could hear him shrug through the phone.
"No, you can't. I don't want you to pay anything for me."
"I don't care, Scar. You make me happy. Bring a friend, stay here for a while. We can hang out, dive through a coral reef... We could pet koalas!"
I laughed. "I really can't-"
"Shut up," he interrupted. "Grab Kaya, I'll book you a flight in two days."
"Harry. That's gonna make me feel bad!"
"What? Being with me?"
"No, I can't let you pay a vacation for me, Harry," I whined.
"How about I pay for this one and you pay for the next one?" He said, making me smile.
"Sounds good," I replied. I knew I couldn't talk him out of it. "I should get going. My friends are about to come over!"
"What are you guys doing?" He asked curiously.
"I made dinner for everyone," I said. "Maybe you can meet my friends some time," I suggested.
"Sounds lovely," he said. "Well, I'm gonna go get some rest. Have fun tonight, yeah?"
"I will," I assured. "I love you."
"I love you more, Scar."

Just in time, the doorbell rang. Nate and Claire stood outside the door.
"Hey, so good to see you!" I greeted them.
"You too," Nate said, giving my a quick hug.
"How are you?" Claire asked, giving me a hug aswell.
"I'm doing quite alright," I said. "Was there a guy outside? In front of the complex?"
Nate gave me a questioning look. "No, why?"
"Nothing," I shrugged. "My dad and I... We had a little fight, that's it."
"You never talk about him," Claire stated.
"Well, our relationship was never one of the easy kind... I don't want to talk about it now, alright? The lasagna is almost done, Danielle and Josh should be here in a minute and then we can eat."
"Sounds good to me! You need some help in the kitchen?" Nate asked.
"No, everything's prepared," I said, sitting down at the table with them. We opened a bottle of wine and just sat there.
"How's it going with Harry?" Claire curiously asked.
"Good," I said. "More than that actually."
"Isn't it weird that he's always gone?" Nate asked.
"Yes, kind of... But he loves his job. I feel like now that we're apart, we only got closer," I said and shrugged. "I trust him and he trusts me. We talk every day."
"Sounds good," Claire said. "When's he coming back from tour?"
"I don't know exactly. He has a strict schedule, but I'm sure we can find a way to meet up soon," I said, not mentioning the trip to Australia.
Just then, I heard the doorbell again. I opened it and saw Danielle and Josh in front of the door. I had met Josh at university library when I was struggling to reach a book at the top of a bookshelf. We then started studying together and became friends. I met Danielle at a bar with Claire. She didn't go to university, but she was a model. She really had the face for it, with her wavy brown hair and pouty lips.
We all sat down at the table, I served the lasagna and we had the best night ever. We laughed, we talked and just for an evening I forgot what had happened at my door earlier.

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