I've Always Been [Shikamaru x Reader x Deidara]

Chapter 22: I've Always Been

I'm sorry, Deidara-kun.

"Look out!!" Y/N pushed Deidara out of Shikamaru's jutsu.

"Shadow Sewing Technique!" Shadows materialised and penetrated Y/N through in several vital places.

She threw up blood as she felt the punctured shadows in her.

"Y/N! No! Y/N!" Deidara was quick to mold clays into bombs and throws it at them just to free Y/N from the penetration. "Katsu!"

Once it exploded, everyone dodged and when it cleared up, Y/N's head was on Deidara's lap.

"No, no, no, Y/N. Stay with me, un!" He cradled her head as he swing her back and forth emotionally. His tears were like waterfall, flooding nonstop.

"Deidara-kun..." she panted and coughed. Her arm raising towards the blond's cheeks. "Don't cry. I'm pretty sure...we'll meet again...someday..."

"No. Don't say that! You're not going to die, no, un!"

The couple was shook. "Y/N..." Shikamaru muttered. He knew her weakness would be seeing the person she loved gets hurts but he never expected this to happen.

"Shika...maru-kun..." She breathed. Everyone knew she wouldn't last long but she had to say this. She had to.

She never got to tell him that day.

"I hope...this time my feelings...reached you...I love you, Shikamaru-kun...I've always been...in love with you..." She smiled warmly, a true smile from her. Her eyes closed for the last time, her breath stopped.

Her time stopped and it triggered something.

"Aaghh!" Shikamaru palmed his heart. "What the hell...is going on?!" His breath, uneven. Tattoos glowing and spread across his skin.

"Shikamaru!" Temari kneeled across from him. "What did you do?! What happened!?" She exclaimed, ready to attack Deidara.

"He was put into a curse."

"Curse?!" Temari couldn't believe what she was hearing. A curse? Can this girl get any worse?

"He will feel all of Y/N's pain. If he survives, he'll live. If he don't, he might actually die." The Akatsuki explained.

"Die?! What?! Is there a way to undo the spell!?" She asked frantically. Shikamaru's hand grasped her skirt.

"It's fine. I'll take it all in. Bring it on." He panted.

-

He was seeing everything in third point of view with Y/N's perspective. He could feel all of her emotions, her secrets, everything.

It all started during the chunin exams. The moment she saw he was fighting against Temari, she knew something was up. It was a woman's instinct.

She was devastated when he gave up. "He totally outsmarted her, why he give up?! He could've finished her before his chakra runs out!" She complained, yet he paid no attention to her. He was simply thinking she was a nuisance in his life.

Yet, she still strived to get his attention. To look at her. To appreciate her.

She was desperately smiling at him, yet he treated her only someone who's troublesome.

She even asked herself if it was actually okay for her to be in the household.

She was grateful for the second chance of living, giving her a home but she wanted him to look at her. She did everything for him.

Every time she felt unwanted, felt so useless, her heart stings.

A sharp sting was felt at the same time by the genius. She feels this hurt?

The next thing he found himself was the day they tried to recover Sasuke.

When she found out Temari was there with me, she looked at us with pain and jealousy. In a genuine and excited smile, a jealous pain was hiding.

She was good at making secrets. She was good at hiding it. He knew about her feelings but he paid no attention to such troublesome feelings.

He always thought her feelings were troublesome until he felt it, too, towards the most unexpected person.

And, it wasn't Y/N.

When we all found out that the team was all safe, he broke down and he felt her intense care for her in the form of hug.

It felt weird seeing himself being hugged by her and felt what she felt but he realized how much she cared for her.

How much she could trade everything, even her life, for him.

-

Chunin exams, Shikamaru was one of the proctor and the guide for the Sand girl. The genius was more and more distant and she felt loneliness. He felt how much she misses him.

He felt how much she wanted to see him.

She was watching them converse with the newly back home, Naruto. "So are you guys on a date?"

He felt when she felt a bit happy finding out we're not going out but it was replaced with solitude.

"What the fuck, this again?! What the hell is this burning feeling in the chest?" Shikamaru asked out loud.

"Probably how it would trigger her wolf form, un." Deidara explained. The two never really understand why he was still there, so bare.

Then, he took out a letter from his coat. "Y/N told me to give this to Shikamaru. He might not be able to read it now but he could, whenever he wants. She told I should give this to you guys."

"How would we know it's not a trap?" Temari asked with cautious.

"Because she wrote it with full of emotions. Shikamaru will probably feel the pain she felt when she wrote that, un." He said. He took a rock and placed the letter on the ground with the rock on top of it to prevent it from flying off.

"I made a deal with Y/N that I wouldn't fight with you, guys, no matter how much pain you've caused her. That curse itself will be his punishment, un." He dismissed as he created and climbed on a clay bird with Y/N's lifeless body being carried on his arms.

He disappeared out of sight but the curse still lingers on.

Jealousy once again spread around her body but when he gave her a smile, her heart fluttered a million times.

But he felt her unwantedness and uselessness was stronger.

The day she was tested of her loyalty. She was given a mission. That was also the time she first met Deidara, the blond Akatsuki.

She was mesmerised by him. And, the way he delivered his words of her being needed persuaded her to join the Akatsuki.

But she didn't want to leave his side. She loves him more than anything, she can't sacrifice her love over that.

When Shikamaru called out to her, she felt as if her world stopped. She was scared of being caught talking to the enemy but also, because under the moonlight, Shikamaru was so beautiful in her eyes.

"I love him so much." Her heart cried out.

———————
Here's another chapter!!

There will be another one later!

Hope you liked it!

Reirin xx