Ghost One Shots

What To Expect When You're Expecting The Antichrist

By faerieincombatboots.tumblr.com

A few months ago, I sent an Imagine to this blog, begging admin and reader to envision being selected as Prime Mover, going through the rigamarole of trying to conceive, and then taking a pregnancy test with Papa and the Ghouls hovering nearby. Admin's hilarious response inspired me to write this little one-shot. Enjoy!

I'm late. By two weeks at the very least. Two weeks ago, I should have started my period, but it never arrived. Not so much as a speck of blood. I look at the chart Air helped me make. I've been using it for months, tracking my cycle, predicting when I ovulate, and holding a Ritual around that time. It optimized our chances, I explained to Papa. I had also started taking prenatal vitamins everyday, to get get my body ready.

So am I pregnant? Did all our work, mine and Papa's, pay off? And do I feel any different? Like a sacred fucking vessel? A ripe pomegranate, a pinata full of fetus? I start checking off the list of symptoms that signify an impending Little Stranger. First, the obvious one, my period was late. First I thought it was stress, but then I noticed that my breasts were sore, and swollen. My bras didn't fit quite right, and whenever Papa or the Ghouls would touch them, I'd push their hands away; even the lightest touch hurt. Did I have to pee more often... no, not yet thankfully. I'd escaped that one, for now. But then I started to feel tired. Exhausted. My newest hobby was to see all the diverse and interesting places I could nap in. Last Thursday, I'd fallen asleep under a tree in a cemetery. I hadn't thrown up yet, but I had gotten queasy a few times; that was a third red flag. And then there were the mood swings. I had become unreasonably irritable, and prone to bursting into tears. Yesterday, I spent a good five minutes bawling on Omega's shoulders during the end of Last of the Mohicans. That movie has never made cry before, but there I was, leaving a damp patch of salty tears and snot. He took it with good humor, cuddling me until my breath evened, and I could calm down. When I mentioned feeling almost ridiculously moody, afterwards, a knowing glint appeared in the Aether Ghoul's eyes. Finally, there was a drastic increase in my appetite. It felt like I had the munchies all the time (though I had stopped smoking as soon as I noticed my missed period), and craving all kinds of things. I wanted lasagna and garlic bread most of the time, or strawberries. My god, I wanted strawberries.

So I was late, sore, sleepy, moody and hungry. That's five of the Seven Dwarves of Pregnancy. I'd better go get a test now, and get this over with.

I leave my bedroom to look for my shoes and purse. Standing outside the door is Papa Emeritus himself, startling me with his sudden appearance.

"Son of a whore!" I exclaim.
"You cannot scare me like that!"

Papa chuckles and pulls me into his arms. His embrace is warm and loving, as always.
"Ah, but I love the look on your face when I do," he teases, kissing me. I melt against him for a moment, then pull away. If this were any other time, I'd be dragging him to my bed, but not now.

"I mean it, it's not good for me right now" I say firmly. Papa narrows his eyes. I think he's starting to get the gist of what Im trying to tell him.

"What do you mean?" He asks.
"You've been acting strange lately, stranger than usual at any rate. What's going on?"

I take a deep breath, now's the time to tell him.

"I'm not entirely sure yet, but I think...I think I might be..." My hand drifts down to my soft belly. Papa' eyes linger there, then:

"Are you saying you might be pregnant? That we've made..."

Words fail him, and he is speechless, his skeletal face spreading into an almost boyish grin.

"I think so! But I need a pregnancy test, then we'll really know" I smile, taking his face in my hands. I kiss him heartily.

"I'll be right back"