Hidden 8th | BTS

Stage 28

Btw

Just so you know there isn't an actual morse code like I made it up lol. (Though there could be one but no one has found it yet idk)

Anyway, I used the morse code format because it reminded me of the BTS Festa 2018 twitter titles.
The use of roman numbers was used because 'Romanized' Lyrics ahahaha

The flipped version represented a mirror.
And the actual message....well.....that's your job isn't it? :)

Hint-

Chapter 31: Stage 28

Jungkook

It was maybe near eleven at night by the time we were done with today's schedule. It couldn't be helped, there were bound to be more content filmed and released because Y/N had made his appearance. There just much more work to do with 8 members, from assigning lyrics to dance moves.

I was just tired and was ready to sleep any second now. I shut my room door close and hit the switch. The light revealing, the messy upper double decker bed, while the bottom bed was just a slightly more cleaner. The wooden carpeted floor being covered by unfold and maybe undone laundry with shoes at the corner and big long computer tables surrounded by the rest of the light grey walls with sound equipments, wires and plugs all spread about.

Hey, I never said that we were good at cleaning.

I tiredly plumped down onto Y/N's bed because I was too tired to climb onto mine. This what happens when you get a double decker bed just so that you would get more room for equipment, since we didn't have a studio of our own.

I would probably get scolded though, since I'm still in the clothes that I worn for dance practice and it was all so wet and smelly.

That is to say, if Y/N even comes back.

Y/N wasn't back at the dorms yet.

I have a huge feeling that Y/N was still in the meeting room. The meeting room was somewhat a temporary studio for Y/N because no one uses it, since the main meeting room was a floor below and everyone was too lazy to go up to another floor.

And being in a place with no disturbance was truly a relaxing place for Y/N.

I stared blankly at the wooden stacks holding up my bed. It was pretty dusty underneath and little wood chips were sticking out in the middle. Was this how Y/N always slept? Covered by darkness and a stuffy environment. There was only one window in the room, which was next to the vertical bed. There was rarely any bright sunlight shining through the window because the building next to ours was much taller, hence shadowing ours.

Maybe that's why Y/N had started to stop sleeping in our room. I could be wrong though. Before any of this happened, he used to take long naps here whenever I came back from practice.

I miss those days.

Seeing him sleeping soundly until evening and then get scolded for oversleeping.

Everything was just must simpler than.

I was never envious that he got more resting time than us. Quite the opposite actually, I was worried for him, he was trying so hard. Much harder than I was.

And maybe I was jealous because of that. Because I couldn't bring myself to try even harder, even when I was pushing myself to do it.

I never told him this or anyone really, but I cried myself to sleep every night when I went to America.

Was it wrong to say I missed my twin much more than my hyungs?

I couldn't take it.

The loneliness.

The emptiness in my room.

The me from before, the me that was hyper energetic with my twin beside me, had gotten so quiet and shy with the person that I ever only talked to was my dance instructor.

It was like I became Y/N.

Though, I guess, a lower version of him. And I guess, my pride got to me.

It wasn't pretty.

I wasn't pretty.

All my life, I was praised. The more competent twin. The brave and responsible brother that took care of his younger brother.

It was my fault that I got too prideful.

Yet I blamed it all on Y/N. For making me become like this. Convincing myself that Y/N was annoying that he was nothing but a burden in my life.

I tried to push back those thoughts when I came back to Korea. To go back to the days on how we used to be. I really did.

I still ended up pushing him away.

And you know what was uglier?

I knew what was happening all along.

I knew that Y/N was torturing himself. I knew that he looked way to skinny than the average workout. I knew what he was doing whenever he went to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

Yet, I didn't say anything. I kept my eyes, ears and mouth shut.

I had a horrible feeling of satisfaction in the back of my mine.

I was actually glad that he wasn't as happy as he had shown.

I was actually glad that he wasn't as responsible and caring as he used to be.

I was so blinded by my own madness that I didn't even realise that we used to be family.

Used to.

I broke that bond apart.

Maybe if I had said something.

Or at least comfort him.

Then maybe he wouldn't be ignoring us now. Putting on a smile everywhere he went, to whoever he saw.

I can't even tell if that was a real or fake smile.

It was so convincing that it was scary.

My vision went blurry. My nose felt runny. I felt tears running down my cheeks.

I miss the days where we used to be together.

I miss the days where I wasn't such a selfish asshole.

I want to go back.

--

So show me.

I can't show you.

--

The denial and ignorance of change, that everything's still fine and dandy.

It makes you go blind.