no name girlxgirl (COMPLETED)

I finally found her

Tara's POV:

The girls won't stop bothering me about breakfast. So reluctantly, I just follow them to the dining hall. Gosh, this school is huge. I wonder if students get lost sometimes. But for us, they handed us a small map when we registered yesterday. 

Dup. Dup.

That's strange. Why is my heartbeat abnormal right now? It pumps weirder as I reach the dining hall. My hand clutch to my chest, trying to calm down my heart. But it only gets stronger. So i try to distract myself by trying to drool over the luxurious food they have here. Boy, it sure beats our old cafeteria. Then, that was it. 

I hear it. 

That voice. That voice that I've deseprately longed to hear. The voice that I memorised by heart the first time I heard it. The same voice my mind tries to store it in my long term memory through watching our old videos together. I turn to my left and there stands the beauty. Her brown long hair is trimmed and her bangs had grown. Her white cheeks remain pure, like the last time I saw her. Her eyes shine especially with the sun reflection falling down on her. She looks like an angel. There she is, my favourite person in the world, Ivy Omorfos.

Am I dreaming? I don't know but I have to make sure of this image not so far from me. My feet drag my body even before my mind could tell them to. I make my way quick enough to her. I don't want to lose her again. I've been practising the words over and over again so I'd memorise it by heart. And I have. I know my words have to be perfect and real so she'd understand how sorry I am for everything I put her through. She needs to understand that I do love her and am very much in love with her. The letter she sent me broke my heart because she thought I didn't love her. She's wrong! She's wrong! And now's my chance to make it right. Because she is right. She's the right one. I can feel a big smile coming to my lips but it never came out once I realise whom she's with. There's this blonde girl with a slim and almost perfect face. Her arms are draped over Ivy's waist and she kisses her on the cheek. 

I feel like my heart just drops so low it broke. My feet stop abruptly. Is she now someone else's? Am I too late? Compared to that blonde girl, I'm nothing. Yeah, back at my school I'm the most gorgeous one but now, not so much.

"Oh, what if I don't want to stop?" the blonde said.

        And the whole dining hall is echoed by the lovely sound of Ivy's laughter. I've never seen her laugh so carefree like this before. My heart warms at the sound of it and I love it. I love every note, every breath and every whimper that comes with it. But truth be told, I want to be the cause of that laughter. I wish it was my arms that are holding her right now. So much body contact. I want that. That's supposed to be me! But it isn't, isn't it? I screwed up my chance. 

At least she's real.

        That snaps me back from my sad thoughts. And I remember how long I've missed to see her face. No, it doesn't matter if she's with someone else. I finally found her. She's here. And she's real. This is not just a dream. To check with my reality, there's only one thing to do.

"Ivy?"

The tickling stops and she responds with a yeah but still not looking my way. The blonde that is holding her gives me a sharp glare. I don't know her but I think she knows who I am. Coz, I could see her grip on Ivy's waist is tightened more now that she has seen me. I would have flinched under her sterling grey eyes burning a glare into mine but I've gone so much shit for the last four months I don't give a damn anymore. All I care about is her. The one person I've come to love so much.

"Tara?" so she finally noticed me.

        Just like that, she hypnotised me into another world. This isn't the Falls Prep School anymore. It's summer. It's the last Summer we spent together. She's in her baby blue dress and she looks at me with confusion but with a hint of love. I try to say a word or two but I know it will just ruin this whole thing. For now, let me bask in the image of her looking so adorably beautiful right in front of me. All that matters is that she exists and the memories of our summer wasn't just a dream. I can't even begin to explain how much love I have for this girl. How do you tell the person whose heart you've broken that you actually care and love them deeply? How do you say you're sorry to them after the awful things you've done to them? How could you start to enunciate that you wish you could take it all back and do things right? How? How? There's no words no matter how many times I construct it would ease her pain away. Convincing her that my love is true wouldn't be a believable speech no matter how sweet or serenading as it sounds. 

Tears. I think they're a sign of weaknesses. But here they are, betraying my outer strength that I try to put on. But I don't even give a fuck. I want her to know that she is my weakness; the biggest. And half of these tears are symbols of joy. Because that's how I really feel right now; joyful. 

        You don't know how many sleepless nights I've had to endure thinking about this girl. You don't know the ache that throbs in my heart missing her presence in my arms. You don't know the insanity that comes with missing her. You don't know how doubts linger in my brain while my heart tries to battle over the argument of her existence. You don't even know how much I love this girl. I love her so so much. And yes I've been an idiot. Yes, I've been a jerk. Yes, I'm an asshole. Yes, I'm a bitch. But I love her. Losing her makes me realise what's really important. And I understand everything now. But I still can't help feeling overwhelmed by all these mixed up emotions. But the emotion that stands out the most is love. Perhaps it's because I never really showed. But this time I will.

        Our gaze breaks when the mature blonde asks Ivy if she's okay. When her attention falls back to me, I couldn't help but to smile. I miss her and I am so desperate to hold her right now. But then I see the tears coming out of her pretty eyes. No, she shouldn't be crying. I know I did that but I don't want her crying. So I take a step forward and open my arm, ready myself to catch her in my arms. But when I'm almost there, when I am just an inch away from holding her, the blonde pulls her into her arms. She glares at me and says, "Not now." When she kisses the top of Ivy's head, I feel a pang of jealousy inside. I want to be the one to hold and kiss Ivy.

         Normally, I don't give a damn what other people say but in my case, I have no right. That right has been taken away from me long ago when school first started and I treated her like shit that she wasn't. Ivy looks so fragile right now. She clungs to the blonde like it's her dear life. If she's letting this blonde to hold her then she must trust her. Ivy has trust issues since Michael and his douche friends start to harrass her. Sometimes, she even flinched when I held her before. It took some time before I won her trust again to hold her. 

"I'm here. Just let it all out. We'll go to the river, okay?" the blonde said gently to Ivy.

        She puts her arm around Ivy's shoulder and drags her out of there. The question now remains; do I follow them or let them be? I understand she needs privacy but being here at this school would be my last chance to make things right. Not knowing what to do, I call in my best friend in the whole wide world. She picks up instantly.

"Mom?"

"Yes honey?"

"I found her. I finally found her," and my voice cracked sending off more tears than before.

                                                                                        ***

Picture is Maya. ;)