*trigger warning. Contains suicidal thoughts and mentions of self harm* between the ¶¶¶
----
Jimin was sat on his bed in deep thought.
It wasn't a good day for him already.
He woke up feeling heavy, weighted.
Like he did almost every morning.
But today he'd awoken from a dream, and not a pretty one.
One that flares up the guilt and pain more than usual.
one that brings back the memories.
So now he sat there, on his bed, the day barely begun. But the awful, self consuming thoughts the voice of guilt spits at him already racing through his brain.
Contemplating if he should go through with.
¶ ¶ ¶
Whether he should find that bridge in the city and let the air rush past him as he falls into the abyss.
He thinks about all the times, his pained soul couldn't resist the temptation and the persuasion to follow guilts instruction.
He thinks about the blade box that lays next to the toothbrush cup in the cabinet in the bathroom.
The small, shiny pieces of metal that became a way for him to control the pain he feels, rather than the pain controlling him.
Its sad that he finds the sight satisfying, the sight of red running down his arm, through his fingers into the sink contrasting with the white porcelain, where it then blends with the water in a beautiful mix of pain, sadness and guilt. All to be washed down the drain, only to be replaced in viens moments later.
You'd think they wouldn't leave scars as werewolves can heal. But no, when he hurts himself due to the guilt that he feels, when he inflicts the pain he thinks he deserves, the cuts never fully heal. Almost like his mind won't allow it. He thinks that it wants to remind him that he's weak. Just like he was when he didn't fight. When he didn't help his family when he should have. When he caused a mass slaughter due to his carelessness.
The poor boy pained by guilt, tells himself,
'Park Jimin, you deserve this pain. Just as you caused it to others.'
¶¶¶
Wiping away a tear that had found its way onto his cheek, Jimin got up from his bed and got dressed.
He needed a walk.
He needed to clear his head.
To breath.
He had a spot in the woods that he deemed his favourite.
So thats where he headed.
It was a clearing with a waterfall that fell into a small lake.
And instantly on arrival he feel better. The sound of the water falling from the waterfall to the lake and the sound of nature calms him, the sight of the light mist surrounding the bottom of the fall, that drifts across the surface of the lake, sometimes forming a rainbow as the light passed through it was beautiful.
He finds it so peaceful.
He always comes here to clear his head and to try and suppress the harrowing thoughts that race through his brain. Even if it's just for a few hours.
Life gets exhausting sometimes.
A/N
Hey guys, I just want to clarify something. There will be mention of blood, depression, self harm and suicidal thoughts in this book. I want to assure you that these topics are not something I'm trying to exploit or make fun of. They are serious issues that people, including myself, go through.
If you want to talk about anything then I'm here if you want to message me, and there are professionals who can help. It's ok to ask for help. It may seem hard right now but, hopefully it will get better. It may not seem like it, that there's not much hope. But you should never give up on the possibility of hope.
I purple you 💜
-Ellie
YOU ARE READING
Lone wolf// P. JM x K.TH
Werewolf~completed~ No part of this book is real its all fantasy, obviously. Not good at writing summaries so you'll just have to read and find out :) Lowkey bad, absolute ass ahahah. fetus af writing and needs editing but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . If you read, pl...
