Lone wolf// P. JM x K.TH

Chapter 4

The last few weeks had gone by slow for Jimin.

Waking up had been more and more difficult. Each day starting off bad and ending the same way, heavy. Filled with guilt. It all building it up in his head.

He hadn't had time to visit 'the falls' lately as he'd been being extra careful to not attract any unwanted attraction when going on supply runs to the city. Leaving a day or two between runs before leaving the house again incase he'd been seen by hunters or W.T.O scouts.

Due to not being able to have them few moments of relaxation at 'the falls', he had had no break from the painful guilty weight.

He was currently in his room, sat on a chair in the corner, bouncing his leg up and down while reading, trying to distract himself from the thoughts and the stress building up.

The scene he was currently reading consisted of a mother tucking her child into bed, reading a tail of a hero who saved their village from invaders. How he was praised and worshiped throughout the land for his bravery helping save the villagers.

'Brave, is what I should have been.'

'Help and save. Is what I should have done.'

He closed his eyes along with my book and sighed.
Tears gathering at his lash line, threatening to fall.

He felt pressure building in his head as he tried to hold back from crying and breaking down.

Even after 4 years, he can seem to let it go.
The stupid guilt still manages to overcome him. It's so frustrating to him.

He opened his eyes, a stray tear managing to escape, hitting his cheek and rolling down, as he entered a certain state of mind.

He slowly made his to the bathroom, his wrists itching in anticipation, face blank, mind set, hands clammy with small beads of sweat.

¶¶¶

He reached for the box beside the toothbrush cup, taking a blade from inside it, not caring if his fingertips split a bit as I positioned the blade between them.

He lowered the blade down towards his left forarm, grazing it lightly over the existing scars, making a slight shiver pass through his body as the cold metal touched his skin.

He pressed down, the blade indenting the skin before splitting it, cutting through as he dragged it across.

He repeated this over and over and over again pressing deeper and deeper as he went, each time words swerled and echoed in his head.

Useless

Pathetic

Weak

Words that he'd trained himself to believe. The pain he feels being the pain he think he deserves.

He watched as his blood ran from the open cuts that now littered his forarm once again, some sliding through his fingers into the sink and some gathering under the nails of the hand that held the blade, as well as blood lacing it itself.

Some of the pressure in his head now released, and some weight now lifted, he could breath a little easier.

He rinced of his arm and hands watching the blood mix and flow down the drain with the water, washing away some of the stress, sadness and pain of survivors guilt.

Not for long, it'll all be back soon....

'We'll be back soon.'

He placeed the blade back in its box, wrapped a bandage round his wrist.

¶¶¶

He looked in the mirror, only to realise that more tears had fallen, running down his cheeks, gathering in the basins of his collerbones.
his eyes were red and skin was blotchy.
It wasn't a pretty sight.

'Wow, you really are pathetic aren't you. Be glad you parents can't see you now, they'd be so ashamed of how weak you've become.' The voice in his head spat.

Jimin sighed as he finished up in the bathroom. He tore his eyes away from the mirror, a sob finally emmiting from his throat after being held back for so long.

He hated this. He hated how weak he was. He hated this life.

He switched off the lights, he layed in bed and staring at the ceiling, more tears silently falling, running down past his temples.

He was exhausted.

After another two weeks of dragging himself through life with the constant weight on his shoulders, his brain running degrading thoughts. It had pulled him down to breaking point. Again.

His eyes started drooping shut and he allowed darkness to overcome his sences, and drifted off to the realm of sleep, where he hoped to not be plagued with toxic thoughts.

————

Taehyung stepped into his room after a long day of training and patrol duties. He shut the door behind hi. and let out a sigh.

The last few weeks had been busy.
Getting everything back up and running after comeing out of hiding. Making sure the pack were all stocked up on supplies in the safe house, for the next time they may be in need of it.

His father had decided to up the amount of border patrols after the hunter sightings. So the putting together of teams and shifts took some planning. And on top of extra training sessions,
It was rather tiring for Taehyung.

He settled down for the night, relaxing in to the soft sheets of his bed, his body sinking into the mattress slightly he yawned.

He got comfortable and closed his eyes, slowly driffing to sleep, the only thing on his mind was how it was his day off tomorrow, and he could have the day to himself, too relax and unwind.
 

A/N

Another chapter for you all, if there's actually anyone reading this lol.

Hope you're enjoying the story so far.

Jimin and Tae should hopefully get introduced to each other in the next chapter, so stay tuned if you're interested :)

I purple you 💜

-Ellie