Is it worth finding? {finchel fanfic}

I'm dying inside

Previously...
Emma's p.o.v.
"What are you doing?" He asks getting up also.

"I'm going to go say goodbye." I say choked up. His face softens and he tears up.

"Do you want any of us to come with you?" He asks.

"No I'm good. I think I need to do this by myself." I say then he nods. I get to Justin's room and slowly open the door bracing myself for what I'm about to see and do...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rachel's p.o.v.
"Are you sure she's okay in there finn?" I ask him panicking. " I mean she's saying goodbye to her boyfriend for the last time and we're not there for her." I say starting to cry. Finn comes over to me and hugs me.

"She's ok Rach. She's so strong and she's gonna get through this." He says.

"I know I just can't imagine what she's going through. I don't know what I would do if I lost you." I say wiping my tears.

"I know but I'm not going anywhere. "He says then I kiss him.

"I love you." I say to him. He softly smiles.

"I love you too. Now let's go be there for Jackson until Emma comes out. He lost someone today too." H says then I nod and we go over to Jackson.

Emma's p.o.v.
I walk into the room and see his lifeless body laying there. This can't be real. He was the sweetest kindest guy. He doesn't deserve this... I go over to his body and grab his hand.

"I know you probably can't hear me from down here, but I hope your listening to me in a better place." I say then take a shaky breath as the tears start to stream again. "I-I just wanted to tell you how much I love you... even though you hurt me. I know you still loved me and I forgive you. I don't regret anything between me and you. These past few months have been amazing just because you were in them. I'm so sorry I didn't say that I forgave you. Because now look where you are. I would do anything just to go back and change what happened. Cause then you wouldn't be here and we would be together." I say then pause cause I'm crying too much. I pull myself together a little bit then continue. "I'm so sorry Justin. I know you wouldn't want me to feel guilty or sorry. But I am. I'm really gonna try not to be but it's really hard right now. I know we've only known each other for a couple months but I can't even fathom the fact that I'm gonna be leaving here and continuing on with my life without you in it. But I know I have to so I guess this is goodbye and I'll see you one day..." I say sobbing.

{starts singing in between sobs}
Hold on I still want you.
Come back I still need you.
Let me take your hand I'll make it right,
I'll swear to love you all my life.
Hold I still need you.
I don't wanna let go,
I know I'm not that strong.
I just want to hear you saying baby let's go home.
{starts sobbing}
"Let's go home." I say the last part sobbing.

I stop singing and just sob into his chest cause he's not coming back. Doesn't matter if I need him or not. I lean down and kiss his cold lips. I stand there sobbing for a couple more minutes then I start to leave. I slowly let go of his hand and kiss it. "I love you so much Justin." I say then leave my boyfriend for the last time.

Still Emma's p.o.v.
{1 week later}
It's been one week since I lost the love of my life. It gets harder and harder everyday. I've been a wreck. I don't know what to do with myself. Grief is one of the hardest things to deal with. I just miss him so much.

Right now I'm just sitting on my bed in my black dress. We just got back from Justin and Danielle's funeral. I don't want to change out of this or even go on with my life. Cause if I do it will all become a reality. He'll really be gone and he won't be coming back. He never will. This is the worst I've ever been. I don't know how I'm gonna come back from this. The funeral went horrible. Every little thing was absolute torture.