The Secret Behind the Scars

Part 9

Day 16

The feeling of someone watching me is what woke me up. My eyes had shot right open, but I immediately regretted it. I groaned and shoved my face into an unfamiliar pillow. “Someone turn off that damn light!”

“You want me to turn off the sun?” A familiar voice asked amusingly. I know that voice… Liam. What the hell am I doing with Liam, in a bed with him at that too? I’m just going to assume it’s his bed that we were in.

“Yes.” I groaned out. I smirked to myself when I felt his weight leave the bed and the room was plunged into darkness when he closed to curtains. I was fully planning on falling back to sleep when Liam came over and started shaking my shoulder. “What do you want Liam?” I growled.

“Jesus, I’m just trying to give you something for your headaches. You know, you were the one who showed up here unannounced and barged in and made yourself comfortable. You should watch how you treat me.” Liam arrogantly pointed out.

I would have gotten angry if my head wasn’t pounding so badly. I sat up and took the pills and water with a roll of the eyes and muttered a small thanks. Once I swallowed the pills I spoke up. “You are one arrogant arsehole you know that? ‘You should watch how you treat me.’” I mocked him badly then scoffed. “You have no right to tell me how to treat you. You are the reason I’m in pain anyway.”

Liam glared at me with an incredulous look. “It’s not my fault that you decided to get drunk and came over here. You can’t blame me for your hangover, that’s all on you, sweet cheeks.”

I glared at him. “You are such a fucking idiot. One, don’t ever call me sweet cheeks, ever again. You do it again I will kick your arse, dying or not. Two, I wasn’t talking about the hangover arsehole. And three, I’m talking about the fact that you’re the reason I’m fucking dying.”

“I am most definitely not the reason you are dying! You need to stop blaming that on me!” He yelled at me.

I shot out bed, regretting it a second later because my head and basically my entire body screamed in protest and I blacked out for a second. Liam jumped up to catch me in case I fell, but I pushed him away from me. “Don’t you fucking touch me! I don’t want you anywhere near me. You are possibly the worse human being I have ever met! You are most definitely the reason I am dying. I know it, you know it, the higher beings know it, yet you are going to sit here and tell me you’re not the reason?!” I screamed at him.

“You’re not really making any sense babe.” Liam said, downgrading me with the names again.

“You don’t make any sense. You know damn well that the only reason I am dying is because of you! I was perfectly fine before you came around. Maybe I didn’t have a lot of friends, maybe I didn’t talk to many people, maybe I had problems with asthma and anxiety, maybe I was a bit on the chubby side, and maybe I was insecure about I looked, but at least I wasn’t fucking dying. At least I wasn’t suffering like I am now. And I hurt so damn much for so many reasons. It hurts knowing that you won’t accept me and you don’t really have a good reason why either. I hurt physically because I’m in so much pain and I just don’t want to wake up the next day because of how much pain I am in. And now hearing that you are pretending to not be the reason behind all this hurts as well. So fuck you Liam! Fuck your non-acceptance, fuck your denial, just fuck you in general!” I screamed out the last part at him.

I saw several emotions flash through his eyes, regret, sympathy, guilt, and hurt, which is fucking stupid if you ask me because he has no reason to feel hurt. They all went away as quickly as they came and he just smirked at me. “That’s what you wanted to do last night.”

Horror took over my face. “We didn’t do it last night, did we?” God, I really hope we didn’t.

He sneered at me. “No, you tried to seduce me into fucking you. Telling me you loved me and that I was sexy and that you were so horny and you needed me to fuck you. I probably would have to if you weren’t such a fucking mess last night. I mean you were drunk, you were wearing my shirt still that smells like it hasn’t been washed in days, which is creepy by the way, plus you are fucking bald. You were just a turn off last night.”

I reached up to touch the top of my head to see if what he was saying was true and it was. I felt tears come to my eyes when I realized Liam’s right. I am a fucking mess, I am so ugly that I turn people off, no wonder Liam doesn’t want me, no wonder he won’t accept me as his.

I did nothing to keep the tears from flowing and I saw Liam’s eyes widen in shock, and maybe sorrow and regret? “Niall I-”

“Save it Liam. I really don’t want to hear what you have to say. Just please leave me alone and just don’t come near me again. And I promise I will not come near you either. And when I die you, please don’t come to my funeral, I don’t want my family around you.” I whipped all my tears up and searched for beanie as I said all this. I am so God damn tired of all the tears, I’m tired of Liam, and I’m tired of all this pain. At this point death would be a gift.

I made my way to Liam’s door when I felt him grip my arm. I stopped with my hand on the handle, but refused to look at him. “Please don’t go Niall. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean any of what I said. I-I love you.”

He sounded like he was crying, but I still refused to meet his gaze. “Yeah, well I hate you.”

He dropped my arm. “I-I t-thought…you t-told me y-you loved m-me.”

Yupp, he’s most definitely crying and it’s taking every ounce in me not to look at him, which left me with no strength to hold back my own tears. “I-I have to l-love you. I don’t h-have to like y-you.”

With those final words, I yanked open his door, slamming it shut and then proceeded to walk out of the house. I ignored his sobs and the want to go back to his room to take back everything I said. I kept walking away though, because if he was really that upset over what I said and actually did love me, he would have ran after me and accepted me.

He never did.

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Niam's a fucking mess. What do you guys think should happen next chapter?