A Million Heartbeats

Disappointed

At night Caroline and James were already in bed when suddenly he heard her sobbing.

“What’s the matter?”. He asked whispering as he got closer to her.

But Caroline couldn’t speak; the lump down her throat kept her from speaks. She grabbed another tissue from her nightstand and wiped out her tears. James hugged her very tightly and kissed her head as she held his hand. He knew the reason why she was crying, how much it hurt her to see Robert take that attitude, but he also understood it was in part his fault. He wished he could turn back time and change everything for his family, especially the relationship with his son, but he felt the need of showing his strong and tough side before all else.

When her eyes felt dry and like she couldn’t cry anymore, Caroline finally fell asleep and James got up from bed and went down to the living room. Sitting on the couch, he turned on the lamp and grabbed the family photo album Caroline had been seeing before going to bed. As he opened it, he saw a picture from the day Claudine was born, and Robert was only nine years old. They were at the hospital room with Caroline holding her newborn baby girl on her arms; they were all smiling and so happy. James closed his eyes and tried to revive those moments on his mind.

Caroline’s face reflecting pain and happiness at the same time, but mostly happiness as she held her little daughter for the first time, he smiled at her and thanked her for giving him such a beautiful gift, he kissed his daughter’s little head. Robert was outside waiting and eager to meet his sister as he heard her little cries. James went out to get him. His eyes sparkled as he saw his little sister for the first time, his smile was priceless. He looked at his mother and asked if he could touch her. “Of course you can honey, give her a kiss”. Robert was afraid he could break her sister or hurt her, so he carefully kissed her on her little soft hand.

As James opened up his eyes, he smiled and changed the page too see a picture of him and Robert fixing his car outside their home back in Brentwood. He wished he could tell him how much he loved him. But the way Robert was and the way he think were totally strange to James; his son seemed to have become a total stranger to him. Even when he wanted to talk to him, he did not know what to talk about, what to tell him. He closed the photo album and returned to his room.

The next day they were getting ready for the dinner at Tess’s house. Caroline was drying her hair while James was trying to choose the right tie to match his dark green shirt.

Claudine got out of the bathroom after taking a shower and she went to the hallway’s closet trying to find her shoes. “Mum have you seen my beige shoes?”. She yelled.

Robert saw her in the hallway and as she looked at him, he signals her to go to his room.

“Do you have my shoes?”. She asked Robert as she entered to his room.

He closed the door and stand in front of Claudine grabbing her hands.

“I just want to tell you that I’m very sorry if I scared you yesterday, that was never my intention”.

“Well you did scare me”.

“I’m so sorry princess, but remember what I told you about when I get mad?”. He asked her.

“That it will never be because of me”.

“Exactly. You know there are kind of things that only grown-ups can understand, and right now you can’t understand why I act like that sometimes, but when you are my age you will understand”. He said softly touching her cheek with his hand and smiling at her.

Caroline smiled back at him. “I just don’t like it when you and dad fight like that”. She replied.

“We’re not fighting princess, is just-“. Suddenly Caroline opened up the door.

“Claudine what are you doing here? Come on I need to comb your hair, and Robert why you haven’t got into the shower yet? Hurry up I don’t want to be late”. Caroline said taking Claudine to her room.

Robert went to take a shower but he made it long enough to make his mother impatient.

“Robert we need to go now”. She yelled at the time she knocked at the bathroom door.

Robert shut off the water. “You can leave; I’ll catch up in a moment”. He answered.

“What? No, we need to get there together as a family”. Caroline insisted.

“Honey, I think he can meet us there in a minute, but if we don’t leave right now we are going to be late for sure”. James suggested to her.

Caroline looked at him and sighs. “All right, we are going leave now, just don’t take too long Robert”. She told him.

Robert got out and went to his room to change his clothes. He looked at himself on the mirror and reflected about the way he had scared his sister the look on her eyes were heartbreaking. He’d never want to hurt her in any way. He walked out of the house, but instead of going to Nerissa’s house, he walked to the park. It was getting dark and he was just sitting on the swings reflecting about his attitude, about his life, about his father leaving again and about Nerissa, everything was crossing his mind. He didn’t want to look at his family at that particular moment; he just wanted to be alone.

To his surprise the girl he felt like the one he needed to see at that moment came walking towards him. As he looked up and saw her getting closer, looking so beautiful as always,  he thought he had fallen asleep and started to dream.

“Why you didn’t come to my house with your family?”. Nerissa asked him.

For the first time Robert did not know what to say, he had hundreds of thoughts going through his mind at that moment. He looked at her and smiled. "“Did I disappointed you?”.- He asked her.

“Yeah, you did. I invited you personally and you despised my invitation”

The soft and sweet tone of her voice seemed to weaken Robert more every time. Nerissa sat on the swing next to Robert and just looked at him, waiting to see what he had to say. Of course this was very strange to him, she had been avoiding before and she seemed scared of him, but now she was right there wanting to know why he had not come to her house that night.

He looked at her trying to say something, but the words just couldn’t leave his lips, he was so nervous and he felt like his brain had been blocked by the thought of how beautiful she looked. He hated it, all the past years he have had perfect control of himself, but now a strange girl seemed to be telling his mind what to and what not to do.

He got down from the swing and turned to her. “Promises were meant to be broken, sorry”. He told her before walk away from her. Nerissa was shocked by his cold answer. How could someone be so rude and cold, she just couldn’t understand, the rest of his family were nice people, what the heck was wrong with him?. She felt humiliated and cheated, even a tear escaped her eyes as she saw him walk, it was then when she realized he had hurt her for sure and as she wiped out the tears with her hand she promised herself not to talk to him ever again.