Stupid for you | nomin

열 10

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The next time jaemin saw jeno was after confessing to him, jeno promised to come over and he did. The two boys were awkward at first but soon got comfortable and relaxed.

They had lazed around all day cuddling and eating snacks while watching Netflix, it was as if nothing had changed and jaemin didn't know if he liked it or not but shrugged off the dread in his stomach and enjoyed being in jeno's presence.

Jaemin had told Jisung about his confession and what jeno had said to him afterwards, he was confused and didn't know where to go from here so he asked Jisung for help.

He was told to make a move on jeno or they would remain friends and never move onto something more, Jisung told him that jeno seemed to be ignoring the whole ordeal and tried his best to ignore it. Jaemin thought he was crazy at first but thinking back to the past couple of days he realized that jeno was acting just the way he was before. No kissing or going on dates, and they weren't even classified as boyfriends yet either.

Jaemin took Jisung's advice and tried his best to get something out of jeno but the older wouldn't budge. He was getting frustrated now and felt hopeless.

What if jeno lied?

All Jaemin could think were bad thoughts, why else would the boy be ignoring him like this and treating them as just friends? Jeno basically knew about jaemin's undying love for him and told the boy he felt the same but why was he being this way?

Weeks had passed and jeno was still avoiding the topic, jaemin was beyond upset and frustrated. It had come to the point where he wouldn't talk to anyone and I mean anyone. He had his earphones shoved in his ears all day blasting whatever music he felt like and sulked around everywhere he went. It didn't help that his friends ignored his behavior as well, it made him feel worthless.

Jaemin cried a lot, he cried so much that sometimes he couldn't cry anymore. Jeno had been completely ignoring him now and he spotted the older with a girl leeching off of him and saw jeno do nothing but flirt back. Who does he think he is?

Jaemin had given up, why'd he think everything was going to be perfect in the end? Of course jeno would lie to him and play with his feelings, why wouldn't he? Jaemin was just trash compared to all the girls and some boys that wanted jeno's attention. Jaemin wasn't special to jeno anymore, maybe he never was.

Jaemin was just a loser that no one cared about, not even his friends seemed to care if he was okay anymore. Jisung wouldn't even talk to him and that was what hurt the most.

Jaemin cried himself to sleep like always on this Thursday night, but something was different tonight than any of the other nights he cried.

His tears were full of anger and rage mixed with sadness and hopelessness. He screamed out and sobbed into his pillow for hours until he got up off the bed and to his desk, drying off his tears and grabbing a pen and paper.

He would regret doing this later but that didn't matter right now, what mattered was letting all his emotions out on this paper.

——

"Dear Jeno,
Why won't you love me?
You've fucked with my head and broken my heart, who gave you the right to do that to me?
You lied to me Jeno, you fucking lied and I hate you so much for it but at the same time I can't stop loving you and it fucking hurts.
I haven't stopped crying for days, weeks even. My friends won't talk to me and it's as if no one cares, why'd you do this?
Please stop hurting me, please make it fucking stop.
I hate you but I love you at the same time, leave my heart alone.

-Jaemin.

(P.S : Fuck you)

——

Jaemin finished writing and threw his pin across the room and shoved the messy torn paper into his bag. His tears were falling again and he threw himself on the mess of his bed and racked out sobs once again.

Is this what heartbreak feels like?

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Angst angst angst angst angst. Sorry for the short chapter!!

Yooo I had to put some angst in here somewhere so there you go :) but don't worry it won't last for very long, I promise.

Alsoooo, I'm writing another nomin ff and I'll be publishing the first couple of chapters soon so be on the lookout!!

- j ♡