fansign | wanna one ✓

forty four.

we came back as soon as we heard the news. my mind went blank upon hearing the words out of our manager's mouth. everything just seemed to stop, going in slow motion. but this time it wasn't a good feeling.

nothing could even come out of my mouth, i just wanted to get there as soon as possible. to be with her at those moments, and not caring about anything else.

the thought of her lying on the bed, not knowing if she'll wake up or not, i couldn't even fathom how devastated i'd be. 

but now she was right before me.

her dark brown hair, pale face and almost colorless image was a great contrast to her usual bright and joyful self. i wanted to wake her up so bad, but i knew it wouldn't be easy. at these times, i'd just have to trust her. i know that inside her head, conscious or not, she'd be the one to decide if she wants to wake up.

i didn't know that seeing her like this would hurt me so bad. 

my breathing stopped, and my instinct was just to run to her.

i knelt down beside her bed, my vision starting to blur. the words i've been wanting to say had been choked up, and all that was left was silent tears. i held her hands, rubbing her knuckles gently. 

" hey." i breathed out, my heartbeat quickening. " sorry i couldn't visit you while you were still awake." i whispered softly. hot tears started to flow from my eyes, one by one. but i didn't bother to even wipe them off.

" how come you make my heart race when you're not even awake? it's crazy." i tried to smile, but only ended up crying even more. the members watched silently, and i know their hearts broke when they saw her this way.

she looked so happy and peaceful, like she didn't have a problem in the world. but i'd rather see her awake, looking at me with her brown eyes that i could get lost in everytime i looked at them, her hair that cascaded effortlessly down her back, and her smile that just brightened up any atmosphere.

she was a sleeping beauty but her prince couldn't make it past the thorns outside her castle. the same thorns deep inside his heart that managed to stop him from loving in the past. 

it ate inside me, and i was losing little bits of love as the days passed by. but she was the only one who could bring them back. she was where love resided.