seventeen.

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he turned to me, a serious look on his face

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he turned to me, a serious look on his face. but knowing him, i knew he was hesitating. he had his doubts  going into the conversation.


" look, i-i'm sorry." he said those three words so breathlessly, like he had finally said words that he had been longing to say for such a long time. it was so short, but i felt that those were the three most important words he wanted to say. it was like he was desperate for me to forgive him.


and i knew him, he wouldn't apologize to just anyone.


" i just really want us to start again, i just want to be happy again. like i was when i was with you." his gaze pierced mine, and we just stood there, ignoring the people passing by. i couldn't bring myself to say anything, only because i didn't feel the grief i had before.


i wanted to cry and scream about how much pain i felt. but hearing him again, i felt it all fade away. i never truly hated him, nor did i loathe him completely, in fact i loathed myself. i loved him too much then to ever be mad at him.


his eyes sparkled and i held his gaze longingly. " i'm sorry too. i didn't really fight for you." i muttered unknowingly, still lost in his eyes. i saw a glint of surprise when his eyes widened a little bit. " r-really? you're not mad or anything?" a hint of excitement was present in his tone.


" i was never really mad at you, oppa. and besides, i think it's time we move away from the past." i smiled genuinely. he flashed the biggest smile i've seen from him in a while. i missed seeing him smile.


he hugged me like he wasn't going to let go. " i missed you, jagi." he whispered into my ear. and that's when i felt the nostalgia rushing in me. i missed being in his arms.


" i missed you too, oppa." i smiled widely behind his back.


. . .


jihoon oppa took me on a tour of the building including the different studios inside ymc. it was fun and i really missed being with him, but unfortunately the fun was stopped when they needed to resume practices and i had to start training myself.


before leaving, jihoon oppa lead me to the trainees' practice studio, the one i was suppose to go into in the first place. 


i opened the door carefully, stepping inside. there were about more than 20 people inside, a mix of both boys and girls, including whom seems to be our trainor. and every single one of them was looking in my direction.

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