I Wish I Didn't Remember You

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I remember, the day we met

We were young

I still remember the way you smiled at me

The light behind your deep, crimson eyes

The way you laughed at all my jokes

Even the ones that I knew were terrible

I remember the first flutters of my heart

And only two weeks later,

You kissed me

You bought me flowers every Saturday

You taught me how to cook on Sundays

 

I remember

When you first yelled at me

When I got so mad I spit at you

 

I remember

When my parents died

And you let me cry in your arms

You smelled like blood and vanilla

 

I remember

The first time you said you loved me

And the first time I said I hated you

 

I wish I could never remember the way you cried

The way you stood there

The way you just stared

That you had to watch me walk away

 

Now everytime I see you

I see faded regret

painted in the bags of your eyes

And the flinch of your body

Everytime we touch

 

I see the way you look at her

Or at him

Or at anyone else but me

 

I remember,

When I didn’t regret you

When you loved me more than I love you

I remember the way you would smile whenever you heard my name

instead of trying to hear anything else but that

 

I hope,

someday,

I will be able to remember a new us

Where we are in love all over again

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