I Love Him, but He love Her {ON GOING}

~• Chapter 04 •~

Pagtapos ng practice namin kanina dumaretso na ako dito sa bahay namin. Letse angsama ng pakiramdam ko :/ kasi naman eh walang pahinga kanina. Di pa ako sinabayan ni Jongin.

Aral, Gawa nung story, tapos pag uwi practice naman?! YUNG TOTOO?! student pa lang ako para na akong may trabaho sa sobrang daming ginagawa?! Letche forever.

nagluto na din ako ng favorite ni jongin na kimchi spaghetti. Habang hinihintay maluto at hinihintay ang asawa ko umuwi tinype ko na lang sa laptop ko yung idadagdag ko para dun sa story.

You Left me here alone in the darkness... I Can't see anything 'cause i lost the only one thing that lighten the darkness that invading me right now...

I Feel so empty everyday that you're not here by my side... Yeah i know you're here but the fact that your mind, your world and also your heart always belongs to someone not mine...

You're my world, but she's your world...

What can i do if papers are just the only thing that binds us and prove that we're together...

I Love You and i hope you'll love me too... but it will not happen right? Unless if i will only look like her and... and if only i'm as beautiful as her right? that is all what you want but unfortunately i'm not...

I am Who i am ... and i don't want to be someone just because you will love me on that personality... but ... I want you to love me for who i am and for what i am.

Maya maya may narinig akong sasakyan na huminto sa harapan ng bahay namin at for sure si Jongin yun. Asawa ko.

"Jongin... Sa susunod ulit ha!" sabi sa labas tapos parang babae pa ata. Kakalbuhin ko na ba ha? pigilan nyo ko!

pinatay ko muna yung kalan ko luto na din kasi. Lumabas na ako para tignan ko sila dun. Eh malay mo naglalandian pa ano? eh alam ko naman si jongin na likas na ang kalandian.

"Jongin-ah" sabi ko pero di sya lumingon. kinakausap nya pa kasi yung mga nandun sa sasakyan dko marinig eh nasa pintuan lang kasi ako.

"Bye, thanks for the ride Luhan hyung, Amber and Yoona" sigaw ni jongin dun.. nakahinga naman ako ng maluwag kasi kasama pala si lulu hyung dun, pero sino yung amber at yoona? diko makita talaga eh umalis na din. Fish-Tea talaga.

"Jongin-ah" tawag ko ulit sa kanya and this time tumingin na sya pero papasok lang pala sa bahay hindi pala lumingon para kausapin ako.

"Nagluto ako ng Kimchi Spaghetti alam ko kasi na favorite mo yun eh" sabi ko "Magpahinga ka na lang muna alam ko kasing pagad ka eh" dagdag ko pa habang sinusundan sya papuntang kusina.

"Umupo ka na lang jongin ako na lang magsasandok para sayo" Sabay kuha nung plato then lagay ng kimchi spaghetti.

Haysss umatake nanaman yung pagkacaring ko sa kanya. Kumain na din ako pero di ko pinapahalata sa kanya na masama pakiramdam ko eh sa wala din naman sya pakialam kung may masama sakin diba.

I've been working so hard just for you to notice my presence... cause for you i'm just nothing, i'm just like air for you. You can always feel me but you can't see me because again for you i'm just nothing...

I want to cry

I want to scream

I want to end this

I want to tell you mostly

I hate that I'm so afraid of everything

I hate that you're the one thing

I want the most but can't have

I wish I could believe my own lies

The lies that i still have even now

I use to cover up the pain you left  but i can't

I need to move on says my head

I need to hold on says my heart

I need to decide says my mind

I envy the way this hasn't hurt you at all

I envy her so much

I envy the fact you don't understand what this feels like at all

I wish this feeling would just go away instantly but it can't... I really hate the feeling that i feel right now, how i wish you could feel the same so that you will know how it hurts so much to the fact that i want to end this what so called f*cking life... You're my dream ... my dream husband and it happened ...but it just happened because of the business partnership of our parents... I hope it happen because we love each other but it's not... So hard to accept but it's reality and we should accept it even though it hurts me so much...

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Woooo.... English pa more! ang sakit sa ulo -,-

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