drama in the hood

Chapter 13: Jim

I was about finished with camping trips.

So I found no residual sadness or disappointment when I packed away my tent. The only souvenir I had from the trip was giant painful bruises on my face and stomach, and was still recovering from the shock of almost dying by waterfall, cliff, drowning, bear, and very sharp rocks whose gashes and cuts had yet to heal (which was a problem, because I can't look at blood and have been known to faint at the sight of it. Every man has his unmasculine flaws!). Archie the Idiot had paddled the canoe off the waterfall, as not to ruin his "Logan Paul Custom Made Maverick Duffle Bag" and nearly killed me. He had also jumped off a cliff (I fell off a cliff, which is completely different. No levelheaded person like me would jump off a cliff) and nearly killed me a couple times over. Luckily, Jia had saved me both times (as only a lover would do).

The bus was supposed to leave at ten o'clock. It was 9 thirty when we finished getting everything packed up and called the uber. I finally lugged my bag into the trunk of the car. The uber driver had a minivan. Mariah snagged the first seat. Violet and Jia took the way back, and Archie tried to sit next to her, but I grabbed the seat next to her and stuck my tongue out at Archie. Mariah patted the seat next to her and grinned. "Archie, you can sit here!" Archie scoffed as if this was a ridiculous idea and took shotgun. I almost felt bad seeing how dejected Mariah looked.

The uber driver was chattering away up front, Archie looked almost as if he wished he'd taken the seat next to Mariah. "So he's like, 'Where's the house?' and I'm like, 'you tell me!' 'cause it's his house, but he's like, so confused, and I'm like, 'it's 10 Wynnwood Lane California?' and he's like, 'no, it's 10 Wynnwood Lane Nevada' and I'm like 'well, I'm not driving all the way to Nevada...'" the driver said, oblivious to the fact that Archie wasn't listening, or cared.

"TURTLE!!!!!!" Archie screamed, interrupting the story. A large tortoise was walking across the road.

"It's alright," the driver said. "It's to the side. We won't hit it."

"WE'RE GOING TO!!!!" Archie cried in horror.

"I think the driver knows what he's doing," Violet said. "And we'll avoid the turtle. We won't hurt it." She seemed surprised that Archie cared about the turtle.

"Are you insane???? I don't give a crap about the turtle! Its shell is bulletproof, so it won't get hurt. But our car will go flying!"

Violet rolled her eyes. "Where are you getting this information?"

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!" Violet, Jia, and Sage cracked up.

"It's very realistic," Mariah defended him immediately.

Suddenly, Archie grabbed hold of the wheel and yanked it to the side. The car veered off the road and smashed into a bunch of trees, plowing through the forest. I had forgotten to put on my seatbelt, and I went flying through the van and hit the windshield. Shattered glass surrounded us. The driver glared at Archie. "WHAT THE HELL? I TOLD YOU WE WOULDN'T HIT IT!!! YOU'RE PAYING FOR THE DAMAGE!!!!"

Archie looked suddenly panicked. I was also angry because he had caused me to hit the windshield. I know I didn't buckle my seatbelt, but how is that my fault? "It's ten-fifteen!" Jia yelled. "We're going to miss our bus!"

We all jumped out of the car and grabbed our bags, running in the direction of the bus station. "WHAT ABOUT THE REPAIR MONEY??" The driver yelled at us. Archie grabbed onto his wallet, pulled out three c-notes, and threw them at the driver. We cut through the woods and finally saw a greyhound bus sitting in the lot of the campground. When we got to it, we threw our bags in the bag compartment.