Faith, Hope, And Love (Dean x *suicidal* Reader)

Chapter 16

You had been sitting with your arms crossed for quite a while, watching as you guys drove through some woods. The impala had never been this quiet before. Nobody was talking, Dean hadn't even put on any of his old ass tapes to make it feel less awkward. But that state of embarrassment and shame still hung in your general area.  You had only wanted to smoke a bit...when you were younger, about 15 or so, you had  gone through something similar to this. After your mother had died, your father left you with the Winchester's , for he knew they would take good care of you. Hah, even back then you had the biggest crush on dean. 

~~~~~FlAshBaCK~~~~~

You were wearing one of John's jackets, it was extremely big on you, it went to about your middle thighs, and you found some cigarettes in the pocket of it. You grabbed a lighter off the motel table and rushed outside. It was still the middle of the night. The whisk breeze made you wish you had changed into something besides shorts. You went to the side of the building and lit the cigarette. You breathed it in as you leaned against the brick wall. After a minute or so, you looked to your right to see that Sam was standing there. As tall as he was, he didn't scare you(although you were startled by him).

"Ah..Sam!"  You panicked, trying to put the cigarette out and toss it out. "Uh,what are you doing out here?"

He walked closer, and you could see the expression on his face. He looked down, and picked up the cigarette bud. He grabbed your arm and held the bud in front of you, making sure you could see it.

"Smoking, Y/n? Really? I know you're in a hard place right now, but stooping this low isn't okay."

You hung your head, becoming upset that he knew how low you were. Without saying a word, you pushed away from him and walked back to the motel room, slamming the thin door behind you. 

Now of course that wasn't your last smoke. You snuck out every once in a while to go buy a pack, just to see what you liked. But nothing tasted like the ones you had that night. Soon enough though, you figured out the brand John had bought, and started buying that same kind. Same color and everything. But every chance he could, Sam would stop you. You knew it was bad but you didn't care. But when you were 18, you stopped. Mainly because Sam was annoying you at how much he had been nagging you about it. So you figured if you stopped he would stopped. 

~~~~~ENd Of FLaShbAck~~~~~

You continued to sit quietly. You brushed your hand over your wrist, looking at it. You pulled up your sleeve and saw the blood had bled through the bandages. 

"Hey dean..?"

"Hm?"

"I need to stop at the closest rest stop to repair my bandages." You mumbled, not really wanting to get out of the car.

"Uh..Y/n we don't really have time too, why don't you get Sam to help you with the-"

"No!" You suddenly yelled. You saw Sam jump in his seat, nearly hitting his head on the roof.

"Okay then damn." Dean grunted.

Sorry guys I have to end it here for today, I have 3% on my phone and I need to save it. Should I do some story from Sam or deans POV? Lmk in the comments please! Okay love you all!!

~signed, Nyxell<3333