Faith, Hope, And Love (Dean x *suicidal* Reader)

Chapter 20

                                                                                    !!WARNING!!

                                                                THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS GRAPHIC

                                                                                   DESCRIPTION.

As Dean pulled into the new motel, You hopped out of the car, grabbed your stuff and ran straight into the room. You wanted to do it later into the night when they were both asleep so they couldn't hear the painful groans you'd make. So you sat on the couch and turned on the small box T.V. . Sam walked in, followed by Dean who came over and sat next to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. You sighed and allowed him to change the channels until he found something interesting, knowing this would be the last time you would be with him. You leaned your head on his shoulder, and fell asleep.

You woke up with dean laying down on the couch spooning you, you could hear his soft snores so you knew he was asleep. You slid out of his grip, and looked around to find Sam. He was sitting in bed with his laptop sitting beside him. His eyes were closed, so you assumed he was asleep as well. You grabbed your bag, and walked into the bathroom. As soon as you got in, you locked the door, and took off your shirt along with the bandages that hid your cuts. Some of them had healed, but there were still a few here and there that would take weeks to heal.  You softly smiled at them, and you started to cry. You looked yourself in the mirror and mumbled,

"You're such a broken mess, y/n." You wiped a tear that was forming in your eye, and went over to your bag to grab your sharpest razor. You slowly walked over to the bathtub, razor in hand, and began to fill it up to the brim. As it filled, so did your mind. With thoughts. About how nasty you are, how much of an ugly creature you are and how much of a burden you must be to Dean and Sam. As you thought these things, you slowly began to get into the tub, which was overflowing a bit as you got in. You didn't bother to take off your shorts or bra, you figured you'd be dead soon anyway so it wouldn't matter. You were crying like crazy now, and you held the razor to your wrist. This was it, you thought. You sighed, No turning back now bitch.

You dug the razor into your skin and made an unimaginably painful cut down your wrist. You watched as the blood poured out and spilled into the water. It hurt like hell and you made another cut on your other wrist. You made a groan as it had cut deeper than you had intended.

The blood spewed out of your veins and slithered its way down your arm and spread into the water, making it blood red. Your vision got blurry and your breathing slowed. You took one deep breath and you blacked out.