VAMPIRE; janiel au

Rant // Im Sorry

I'm honestly sorry I know I just updated and u and I both know we hate author notes but I just really need to rant right not and I hope this is the place I can do it so if you don't know me my name is Jazmine but I go by Hunter I am transgender and I've not been able to come out now that's the first problem having to keep my identity my life from my parents hurt a lot of you may think then just bloody come out get it over with my response to those is my family is very religious my mother she's fine with being gay she doesn't have that much of a problem but when it comes to being transgender she has a HUGE problem and she can talk on and on about how transgender people are abominations and she doesn't know that she's insulting me it's hurts to hear the way she thinks about transgender people my second issue is my hair now I know it's just hair what's the big deal but when you're ftm it makes such a big difference not having long hair is almost like not having breasts or a vagina it gives that sense to me that I'm free to be who I truly am and having this hair is hurting me I've been at Vidcon for the past 3 days and there's a booth that allows free hair cuts with no bias once so ever so I call my mother and ask we argue a bit and the thing that hurt me was I said If you loved me you would let me do this her response was Then I guess I don't love you enough having been told that hurt me I hung up on her and just sat with my friend close to tears I couldn't handle this anymore today I had bought my pride flag walking around the convention with my flag on like a cape made me extremely happy and free coming home it hurt because I had to take off and hide my pride flag from my mother I feel trapped in my skin and I hate arguing with my mother but I just feel so scared to see my fears come to life all the times I think about coming out it ends with me getting kicked out of my home and I'm so scared to see if it happens I'm terrified but the one thing that I know for sure is that

I AM HUNTER AND I WONT CHANGE

Update:
I came out on Monday September 10 at 10:30pm
Some advice don't come out u til you are ready for the judgement thrown your way
At exactly 12:00pm I relapsed and my wrist is now adorning new scars being made/produced
I am currently living at my dads but it's not any better
With all this I have decided to just stop to stop all the love I have the love I want to give
But this does not mean a change I'm going to continue in trying to be someone that I am proud of yea I may be fucked up and scared but my scars don't define me I am still hunter and I will forever be hunter